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Posts Tagged ‘boundaries’

setting boundaries

 

Setting boundaries –
What does it even mean?

Is it saying no? Is it saying stop? Is it saying
I don’t like that? I won’t do that?

Is it as simple as
sticking up for me?

Maybe I need skills
Maybe I need practice
Maybe I just need
to do it.

Setting limits can be awkward
The consequences unknown
The possibilities for
rejection
loom

But it’s worth it.

It’s worth it to be heard
able to voice how I feel
even to myself

It’s worth it to know
where I begin
and another person ends

It’s worth it to allow
each of us to fully experience
our own lives as they unfold

It’s worth it to feel
the freedom
of being myself

letting go of the need for approval
letting go of the need for perfection
letting go of the need to fix things

And being willing to
just be me.

If you can use some guidance and practice setting boundaries while still being nice, my newest small-group online workshop begins tomorrow! Click for details.

still being nice

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Full of air
but not of helium

filled withballoon
your own breath
your own hopes
your own dreams

it floats just above the ground
threatening to land on
sharp grass
jagged fence posts
my fork

And now it seems

It’s my job to keep it afloat
It’s my job to protect it from hot lava
It’s my job to bounce it higher
It’s my job to guard it safely

It certainly seems my job
not to be the one 
to pop it

And so I reach out to lift up
up up up
into the light

words of praise

And so I reach out to protect
tap tap tap
away from harm

words of encouragement

But as I reach out,
I may say the wrong words
I may do the wrong actions

Because it’s not my balloon.

And as I reach out,
I may miss
and that balloon
it may pop

So I can’t be the one
who holds your balloon

So I can’t be the one
to sustain it in air

So I can’t be the one
to guard you from disappointment

And I can’t be responsible
for your balloon.

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All the shopping
food and gifts

All the wrapping
ribbons and bows

All the baking
flour and sugar

All the decorating
colors and lights

All the cleaning
fresh and fragrant

All of it
fun
until it isn’t.

All of it
because I want to
until it isn’t.

All of it
at once…

until I say
wait.

And I take a deep breath
and I remember why
and I make choices
to do only
what it suits me
to do

Because I just can’t
Because I just won’t

DO or BE
all of it all.

Merry Christmas Everyone!
Christine

My worth is not measured here

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Ding Dong.ding dong

I’m here.
I’m at the house.
I’m ready to go in.

Or am I?

For as soon as I do
will I remember

who I am?

Will I be labeled
with my past
with my mistakes
with my dark times?

Will I be labeled
with old nicknames
with old jokes
with old embarrassing stories?

Failed expectations
of who I am “supposed to” be

Will I fall into
the role of child
of black sheep
of petulant teen?

Will I fall into
old habits
old patterns
old thinking?

Will I remember
all I have become
all I have learned
all that has changed

All that I am?

I must.
I can.

I will.

I will set boundaries.
I will stand up for myself kindly and openly.
I will take a deep breath whenever I need to.
I will remember my worth.

Ding Dong.

If you can use some help remembering your worth over the holidays,
I’m doing a FREE webinar on Tuesday to give you some tips and share some insights.
 Click here to join me!

free webinar

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Being quiet
Being still
Doing some thinking
Doing some feeling

what steps come next?
what path will be mine?
what holds my attention?
define the design…

lights and signs may flash all around me
noise and smells fill the air
stimulation overloads my senses
where do I focus?

I shuffle cards
in the deck of my life
what do I hold?
what do I fold?

What boundaries do I need to set?
What goals do I need to plan?
What will help me understand my gifts?
and use them…

Questions abound

And so I am quiet
And so I am still
Doing some thinking and feeling
and knowing
the bottom line will always be
What will bring me closer to God?

DSC02063a

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When I first start
setting boundaries

It’s awkward

I don’t always say
the right thing
the right way
using
the right words
the right inflections

So people react without saying
the right thing
the right way
using
the right words
the right inflections

Sometimes
that makes me want to stop
setting boundaries

But I can’t.

Because I need them
and even though you may not like it
you need me to have them
for our relationship to be real

We need to express our needs
We need to express our true selves
In order to really know each other
Not who we think we are
Not who we should be
Not just making it work
Not just keeping the peace

Because I want to be
the real me
flawed and awkward

Because deep down
I like me
flawed and awkward

and I’m hoping
you will like
the real me
too
boundaries 6

 

Other boundary posts:
Boundaries
Setting Boundaries

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I’ve been doing a little thinking about boundary setting lately…

boundaries

boundaries

What is your perspective?

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