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Posts Tagged ‘decisions’

SometimesĀ I feel trapped
by my own decisions

Times I said “Yes”
when I should have said “No”

Times I was silent
when I really wanted to talk

Times I said “Sure”
when I meant “Nope”

Times I stayed
when I really wanted to go

Times I said “OK”
when I wanted to say “No way”

Times I smiled
when I wanted to scream

Times.
So many times.

But here’s the thing
I must remember

I can change my decisions
at any time

and I’m never really trapped after all.

It's self care to say No

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Sometimes I feel
like I can’t figure out a thing
I don’t know where I’m going
or even who I am

I stand at an open gate
and wonder which direction to take
wonder where each path may lead
and what adventures await

Excitement and bravery
get shoved to the back of my mind
roughed up, knocked down
by negative thought bullies

I feel panic start to rise
thoughts of doubt and fear
Insecurity quickly
steals my joy

Can I trust myself?
Can I figure it out?

And then I remember

I don’t have to do this alone

I have the Holy Spirit
within me
I have a guide and a compass
right in my heart

Waiting to whisper
what step to take
who to watch out for
where to go

If I can just be still
and listen
and let the Spirit lead me

spirit lead me

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Sometimes I don’t wanna
be an adult

Sometimes I don’t want
to go to work
to pay the bills
to make important decisions
that impact others

Sometimes I don’t want
to be the responsible one
who “holds down the fort”
who takes care of everyone
who makes everything ok

Sometimes I wish
that I didn’t
know pain
know hurt
that I didn’t know
it always takes time
to heal

Sometimes I just want
to stand in the shower
until the hot water turns cold
and my hair is not yet clean
or better yet
sit in a tub
until wrinkled and shivering
shutting out the world
with the click of the door

Sometimes I just want
to lie on the couch
watch some numbing series
created in days long ago
wearing fuzzy animal pajamas
with 7up and Saltines
today comforting a soul
instead of a tummy

Sometimes I just want
to bury my fingers in warm dirt
sifting rocks from treasures
to cup my hands around a little moth
feel it flutter then fly away
to lie flat on the lawn
watching the clouds become stories
have conversation with ladybugs
and worry for her children

But I must find balance
for I am an adult

I pay the bills
to keep my comforts
I go to work
to make a difference
I make decisions
to take care of others
who have days
when they don’t wanna

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I’ve been doing a little thinking about boundary setting lately…

boundaries

boundaries

What is your perspective?

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Each new day
I get to choose
My slice of life
my outlook and views

So today will it be a slice of fresh fruit
juicy and sweet

or a slice of pizza
a soft, gooey treat

How about a slice of cake
filled with sugar and spice

or a slice of warm bread
comfortingly nice

Or maybe today
I’m feeling beat
so it’s a slice of old cheese
smelling of feet

You may chose differently
and you may judge my choice
But my slice is my decision
and it’s always my voice

 

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What do I do?
What comes next?
How do I handle it?

What do I do?
What’s my next step?
What’s the right thing to do?

What do I do?
What if it goes wrong?
What if I make a bad decision?

F R O Z E N

Frozen
in indecision
in wanting to know certainty
before stepping out
in wanting my decisions to
always be perfect and right

Frozen
in wanting perfection and control.

But I don’t have to be in control
I give my fears over to the Lord
He will guide my path
He doesn’t care if I end up making the “wrong” choice
and as long as I am resting in Him,
no decision will be wrong –
except to wait
for perfect control.

~ Let the thaw begin ~

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