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Is it time to celebrate your own personal freedom?

Freedom from comparison
Freedom from judgment

Freedom from self-doubt
Freedom from self-criticism

Freedom from worry
Freedom from pressure

Freedom from shame
Freedom from fear

Freedom from anger
Freedom from resentment

Freedom from indignation
Freedom from expectation

Freedom from your past
Freedom from your pain

I wish you freedom, my friends.

Freedom to know your worth, to tap into wisdom,
and to experience the joy and peace that come with letting go.
celebrate independence

Hello dear friends,

You don’t see me much these days as I’m back in school, and creative time is often taken up by discussion forums and reflection papers. I’m learning more skills to add to coaching; I’m working to become a therapist.

I recently wrote this simple post for class, and today I felt led to share my heart with you here.

Reflections on Worthiness

In 2011, based on my mother’s steps in her own life, I had an epiphany. My mom had decided to divorce, in spite of her firm beliefs about God’s law and wrongness of divorce.  When she made that decision, I felt a surge of freedom that comes with stepping into true grace.  The Holy Spirit whispered an insight to me that became the foundation of this blog and Facebook community: Nothing I do, nothing I’ve done, and nothing that has been done to me impacts my worth.Nothing I do mantra

I knew, without a doubt, that God still loved my mother even though she was divorcing.  I knew that even though this event would create sorrow and difficulty, God would be there.  And in that experience, my mom may be able to hear him even more clearly than she ever had before in her life.  I knew that God would use this time to bring her close, not to judge or condemn her, but to truly show her what His love and grace could look like, and how comforting it could be.

Through this understanding about my mom, I realized that throughout my life, I’d been trying to prove myself worthy – worthy of relationships, worthy of successes, worthy of happiness, worthy of God’s love. Through my own efforts, my own attempts at being “good” I would somehow find peace and love. But that’s actually opposite to how the gift of grace works… the more we strive, the further away we get from just accepting the gift, from just accepting our inherent worth.

Even when we do things that seem “wrong,” God can use those errors to bring us closer to him.  When bad things happen to us in life, God can use those events to bring us closer to him.  Trauma can create depth.  Sinfulness can create true repentance.  Mistakes create understanding.   All of these “bad” or “wrong” things that we do in our lives are tools that God uses to help us understand his love, his grace, and his view of us through Christ, as worthy, beautiful, and beloved – just as we are, just as he created us, and just as he has always known we would be. We cannot become any more or any less worthy than we already are.

 


Thank you for being here with me on this journey of worth.  I will continue to post here from time to time as the Spirit leads. To connect a bit more often (2x mo), I hope you join my Worth & Wisdom newsletter

not by valentine's dayValentine’s Day
doesn’t have to be
just for lovers

It doesn’t have to be
about being part of a couple

It doesn’t have to be
a symbol of romance

It doesn’t have to be
a “Singles Awareness Day”

It doesn’t have to be
a day of comparison
a day of proving one’s love
a day of relationship status

It doesn’t have to be
a day of wistfulness
a day of longing
a day of regrets

Valentine’s Day 
can be anything you want it to be
and that’s all that matters 
about it

It can be a day of gratitude
thankful for loved ones in our lives

It can be a day of self-care
pampering and peace

It can be a day of laughter
friendship and joy

It can be a day of
knowing and remembering
that you are loved
by your Creator
with a love beyond
any love you can imagine

You are loved

I don’t like being messy.

EmotionalWoman
Hurting
Unsure
Unaware

But no one does. No one likes it.
And yet WE ALL ARE at times.
We all HAVE TO BE at times.

And it’s ok.

Because being messy
is being ME

it’s being real
not an artificial robot

always on top of things
ahead of the curve
having it all together

the strong one
filled with cliches

I must remember
being strong
can be messy
sometimes too

I can be both
brave and scared
sad and hopeful
strong and messy

And the reality
is that
in order to 
be strong
I have to be
allow myself to be messy

even when I don’t like it.

I’ve never understood
some of the words chosen
attempting comfort
to a friend in pain

Lines awkwardly offered
in times of sadness
times of loss
times of uncertainty
times of disappointment

Things will get better
said with a sigh

At least it’s not …
said with hopeful eyebrows

Just hang in there
said with a rub on the shoulder

And

God will never give you more
than you can handle
said with resolve.

Total bull.

Life doesn’t always get better.
Life on this Earth isn’t always sunshine.
Sometimes hanging in
is the hardest thing
you’ve ever done.
Sometimes grieving
is the thing you must do.

AND of course God will
allow us to experience

more than we can handle

because if we could
actually handle it all

we wouldn’t call upon God.

Troubleshooting issues,
we wouldn’t call out for wisdom

Searching solutions for control,
we wouldn’t find genuine peace

The whole point
of living through
our painful experiences
of enduring the loss
of waiting for change
is to get closer to our Creator

And that connection
is what will bring true comfort
more than any words on Earth.

Love.

Abstract yet concrete.real love
Emotion yet thought.
Noun yet verb.

The more we give,
the more we get…
right?

Well, no.
It doesn’t always work that way.

Sometimes we give and give and give
and we feel an empty space
in return

But is that real love?

Because sometimes
the love we are giving
isn’t exactly the
pure and selfless love
we believe it to be

When we give love
with expectations of reciprocity

When we give love
with a need for fulfillment
from others

We aren’t giving pure, true love.

Pure true love
comes from our Creator.

Pure true love
has an endless supply.

Pure true love
fills us up as we give it away

And pure true love
doesn’t need for us to do anything at all.

Just to be.
Just to give.
Through me – not because of me – not for me.

And I want to live
in that kind of love
each and every day.

205766_431466773588347_766618948_n

I’m excited to share that I’m going to be learning more about this kind of love as I leave for Ethiopia this week to work with an organization called Bring Love In.  They bring widows and orphans together to create “forever families” as well as help keep other families intact.

I’m going as a Coach, but I’m mostly ready to spend my time listening, learning and loving. Thank you for sending your prayers and good thoughts with me, as I know they will be absorbed by me, and in turn felt by all I meet.

What does it mean
to live in grace?

Does it mean…

that I no longer do anything wrongLiving in grace
or anything hurtful

that I sit in complete peace
never angry or hurt

that I am always kind
to myself and others

that I am free from feelings of
competition
overwhelm
unworthiness
anger
frustration
ingratitude

pain?

Well, no.

But it does mean

that my chains
to those feelings
can be broken

with a choice.

I can choose
to forgive
to be kind
to be peaceful
to be loving
to be joyful
to be patient
to be grateful

with others
AND MYSELF

because once we accept grace
for ourselves
we have an unlimited
amount to give
to others

And we will find ourselves
more often kind
more often peaceful
more often free

We just start by
choosing it.

choice for grace

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