I know sometimes I’m not easy.
I am a complicated woman
who knows what
a good relationship
can look like,
and that colors
my expectations.
I’m not wooed by
sweet-sounding words,
bold professions of love,
or grand romantic gestures…
I’m actually quite leery of them.
I am slow to jump into big decisions;
I like to follow my heart and my brain.
I’m often too serious, guarded, and pensive.
Heartbreak, loss and pain shape my view.
It sometimes takes work
to love me.
But I love
with my
whole heart,
I’m loyal,
I’m fierce,
and I’m worth it.
Posts Tagged ‘respect’
Complicated Woman
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged expectations, fear, feelings, love, overcome, relationships, respect, romance, self worth, shape poem, wholehearted, wise mind, worth on November 13, 2018| Leave a Comment »
Light bulbs
Posted in Healing, Self worth, tagged expectations, lies, loved, metaphor, no matter what, overcome, poetry, respect, self awareness, unexpected metaphor, what I allow will continue, worthy on January 27, 2018| 6 Comments »
5 light bulbs in my kitchen
going out
one by one
until only one remained
Over time
the view dimmed
I didn’t even realize
how my awareness
was being changed
Stains went unnoticed
Spills got ignored
Crumbs gathered in corners
with shards of a broken glass
Filth crept in.
But today –
today I changed
the dead light bulbs
and it’s helping me see
everything
more clearly.
Bright white light
floods into hidden corners
shadows recede
like defeated trolls
I can see
what I have let happen
slowly bit by bit
in the creeping darkness
I can see…
The stains
of the lie of self hated
The spills
of unfulfilled hopes
The shards
of self confidence broken
The crumbs
of acceptance I’ve scraped for
I see it now.
in the light.
And I remember
I don’t have to live like this.
I begin to clean.
Worth It
Posted in Self worth, Workshops, tagged acceptance, anxiety, boundaries, codependency, expectations, grace, letting go, perfectionism, pressure, relationships, respect, worry on July 5, 2015| 3 Comments »
Setting boundaries –
What does it even mean?
Is it saying no? Is it saying stop? Is it saying
I don’t like that? I won’t do that?
Is it as simple as
sticking up for me?
Maybe I need skills
Maybe I need practice
Maybe I just need
to do it.
Setting limits can be awkward
The consequences unknown
The possibilities for
rejection
loom
But it’s worth it.
It’s worth it to be heard
able to voice how I feel
even to myself
It’s worth it to know
where I begin
and another person ends
It’s worth it to allow
each of us to fully experience
our own lives as they unfold
It’s worth it to feel
the freedom
of being myself
letting go of the need for approval
letting go of the need for perfection
letting go of the need to fix things
And being willing to
just be me.
❤
If you can use some guidance and practice setting boundaries while still being nice, my newest small-group online workshop begins tomorrow! Click for details.
Hey there, Beautiful…
Posted in Photo quotes, Self worth, tagged beautiful, believe in yourself, complex, doubt, flawed, imperfect, pressure, respect, see the real you, self esteem, woman of God on March 14, 2015| 3 Comments »
The Fixer Strikes Again
Posted in Healing, Self worth, tagged anxiety, being needed, codependency, communication, conflict, control, letting go, prove my worth, relationships, respect, self awareness on December 1, 2014| 3 Comments »
When folks aren’t communicating well
Each one talking, no one listening
I can almost always see what’s happening.
Unless, of course, I’m one of the two,
but that’s for another day…
So, I watch them talk
and see both perspectives
The points not being heard
the inferences not being shared
only implied, not received
the intent
vs. the impact
Perception is reality.
But
Just because I can see
what’s going on,
it does not mean
they want my help.
when no one is listening
they certainly don’t want
2 cents from me
And my best intentions
just complicate things further
I must resist helping
FIXING FIXING FIXING
CREATING PEACE
MAKING IT ALL OK
When no one has called in
The Fixer
Because I don’t need to prove
that I am smart
or helpful
or needed
And I will let you both
figure that out too
just between
the two of you
Letting Go
Posted in Healing, Self worth, tagged betrayal, enlightenment, expectations, grace, hurt, I am enough, letting go, pain, poetry, pressure, respect, uncertainty on November 21, 2014| 6 Comments »
how long will it take
to wipe it from my mind
pretend all is well
and just move on
should i be mad
sad or frustrated?
should i be kind
forgive and forget?
nothing you do
is even about me
even if it impacts me
it’s not about me
and so i must let go
i must move on
but i can’t pretend
and i can’t forget
I don’t want to
because that feels phony
and makes me a little sick inside
how do i move forward
without being fake
how do i move forward
without calling it out
without a scream or a shout
without even a whisper
of how i feel
how do i move forward
without making it about me…
even for a minute?
because if i just let it go
if i don’t say a thing
about how it makes ME feel
would it, could it
just might it happen again?
how do i let go
without being a mess
how do i let go
without spiraling in shame
how do i let go
and still believe in me?
Being Ignored
Posted in Healing, Self worth, tagged i am complete, letting go, love, notice me, poetry, praise, pressure, relationships, respect, self esteem, worry, worth on September 30, 2014| 2 Comments »
I ask a question
and you just ignore me
moving into other topics
as if I said nothing
I share an idea
and you just ignore me
asking others for feedback
as if I said nothing
I strain
I strive
Aching for you to notice me
Yearning for you to appreciate me
I want you to be proud of me
I want to feel the glow
of “doing good”
But that just isn’t happening.
And it’s not going to happen.
So I need to remember
reality check time
my worth is not determined
by your approval.
My worth is not determined
by how much you like me
by how smart you think I am
by how much I add to the conversation
It may feel a little extreme, but I realize…
You don’t have to like me.
You don’t have to think I’m smart.
You don’t have to want to hear me.
You don’t have to even see me.
I still have worth
outside of you.
Caretaking
Posted in Healing, Self worth, tagged caretaking, choices, codependency, control, doubt, expectations, family, feelings, love, men, perfect, poetry, pressure, relationships, respect, self awareness, self worth, women on January 16, 2013| 6 Comments »
Interesting
how I am always trying
to take care of you
how I strain and sweat
to make sure you are ok
to make sure you are happy
to make sure your feelings aren’t
hurt
regardless of how
I am feeling
But that’s not my job
it’s not up to me
to take care of you
You are grown
You are an adult
You can make your own decisions
You can make your own choices
You can handle
your own consequences
I don’t need to be involved
I don’t need to monitor
I don’t need to
make sure
everything is ok
Yet I do.
Setting Boundaries
Posted in Healing, Poetry, Self worth, tagged boundaries, expectations, guilt, helping, lose myself, perfect, pressure, relationships, respect, worry, worth on November 23, 2012| 14 Comments »
Sometimes
I have to say no.
It’s important for me to do so
and it’s being true
to what I am really feeling
So I say no
not today
not now
I’m sorry, I can’t
But then the guilt.
It washes over me
floods my thoughts
churns in my belly
How can I say no?
They need me
need my help
need my service
and maybe need God through me
so the thoughts keep spinning
that I’m just being selfish
and would it have really hurt me
to drop what I’m doing
to add more to my plate
and would it have really hurt me
to give one more afternoon
because people give to me
and so shouldn’t I give back
all that I have?
all that I am?
but then I remember
what I can be like
when I don’t take care of myself
the tailspin I can create
the emotional states
the physical decline
and then I remember
that when people give to me
give in healthy ways
it doesn’t require
of loss of myself
to them
it is a gift
and then I remember
that setting boundaries
establishing limits
makes me MORE able to help
more able to be present
more able to be me
in those times that
are appropriate
and that’s woman –
that’s who
they were asking for
in the first place
If I Change Me
Posted in Photo quotes, Poetry, Self worth, tagged change, expectations, perfect, poetry, pressure, relationships, respect, self worth, worth on March 13, 2012| 1 Comment »
I can change things about me
about how I interact
about how I process
about how I re-act
But if I am going to make any changes
I have to do it for me
because I want to
not for you
not because
you think I should
not because
you think
life would be
easier, better, happier
for me
(or maybe just you)
That’s your opinion
and unless I agree
and decide to make changes FOR me…
neither one of us will like me very much.
-
Christine Morgan
@WorthandWisdom
-
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