Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘respect’

I know sometimes I’m not easy.
I am a complicated woman
who knows what
a good relationship
can look like,
and that colors
my expectations.
I’m not wooed by
sweet-sounding words,
bold professions of love,
or grand romantic gestures…
I’m actually quite leery of them.
I am slow to jump into big decisions;
I like to follow my heart and my brain.
I’m often too serious, guarded, and pensive.
Heartbreak, loss and pain shape my view.
It sometimes takes work
to love me.
But I love
with my
whole heart,
I’m loyal,
I’m fierce,
and I’m worth it.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

5 light bulbs in my kitchen
going out
one by one
until only one remained

Over time
the view dimmed
I didn’t even realize
how my awareness
was being changed

Stains went unnoticed
Spills got ignored
Crumbs gathered in corners
with shards of a broken glass

Filth crept in.

lightbulb by woodsy @ rgbstock.com

But today –
today I changed
the dead light bulbs

and it’s helping me see
everything
more clearly.

Bright white light
floods into hidden corners
shadows recede
like defeated trolls

I can see
what I have let happen
slowly bit by bit
in the creeping darkness

I can see…

The stains
of the lie of self hated
The spills
of unfulfilled hopes
The shards
of self confidence broken
The crumbs
of acceptance I’ve scraped for

I see it now.
in the light.

And I remember
I don’t have to live like this.

I begin to clean.

Read Full Post »

setting boundaries

 

Setting boundaries –
What does it even mean?

Is it saying no? Is it saying stop? Is it saying
I don’t like that? I won’t do that?

Is it as simple as
sticking up for me?

Maybe I need skills
Maybe I need practice
Maybe I just need
to do it.

Setting limits can be awkward
The consequences unknown
The possibilities for
rejection
loom

But it’s worth it.

It’s worth it to be heard
able to voice how I feel
even to myself

It’s worth it to know
where I begin
and another person ends

It’s worth it to allow
each of us to fully experience
our own lives as they unfold

It’s worth it to feel
the freedom
of being myself

letting go of the need for approval
letting go of the need for perfection
letting go of the need to fix things

And being willing to
just be me.

If you can use some guidance and practice setting boundaries while still being nice, my newest small-group online workshop begins tomorrow! Click for details.

still being nice

Read Full Post »

And it's all beautiful

Read Full Post »

When folks aren’t communicating well

Each one talking, no one listening
I can almost always see what’s happening.

Unless, of course, I’m one of the two,
but that’s for another day…

So, I watch them talk
and see both perspectives

The points not being heard
the inferences not being shared
only implied, not received
the intent
vs. the impact

Perception is reality.

ButThe Fixer

Just because I can see
what’s going on,

it does not mean
they want my help.

when no one is listening
they certainly don’t want
2 cents from me

And my best intentions
just complicate things further

I must resist helping
FIXING FIXING FIXING
CREATING PEACE
MAKING IT ALL OK

When no one has called in
The Fixer

Because I don’t need to prove
that I am smart
or helpful
or needed

And I will let you both
figure that out too
just between
the two of you

Read Full Post »

how long will it take
to wipe it from my mind
pretend all is well
and just move on

should i be mad
sad or frustrated?

should i be kind
forgive and forget?

nothing you do
is even about me
even if it impacts me
it’s not about me

and so i must let go
i must move on
but i can’t pretend
and i can’t forget

I don’t want to

because that feels phony
and makes me a little sick inside

how do i move forward
without being fake

how do i move forward
without calling it out
without a scream or a shout
without even a whisper
of how i feel

how do i move forward
without making it about me…
even for a minute?

because if i just let it go
if i don’t say a thing
about how it makes ME feel
would it, could it
just might it happen again?

how do i let go
without being a mess
how do i let go
without spiraling in shame
how do i let go
and still believe in me?

photo: Christine Morgan

Read Full Post »

I ask a question
and you just ignore me
moving into other topics
as if I said nothing

I share an idea
and you just ignore me
I still have worth, outside of you.asking others for feedback
as if I said nothing

I strain
I strive
Aching for you to notice me
Yearning for you to appreciate me

I want you to be proud of me
I want to feel the glow
of “doing good”

But that just isn’t happening.
And it’s not going to happen.

So I need to remember
reality check time

my worth is not determined
by your approval.

My worth is not determined
by how much you like me
by how smart you think I am
by how much I add to the conversation

It may feel a little extreme, but I realize…
You don’t have to like me.
You don’t have to think I’m smart.
You don’t have to want to hear me.

You don’t have to even see me.

I still have worth
outside of you.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »