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Posts Tagged ‘being myself’

When I first start
setting boundaries

It’s awkward

I don’t always say
the right thing
the right way
using
the right words
the right inflections

So people react without saying
the right thing
the right way
using
the right words
the right inflections

Sometimes
that makes me want to stop
setting boundaries

But I can’t.

Because I need them
and even though you may not like it
you need me to have them
for our relationship to be real

We need to express our needs
We need to express our true selves
In order to really know each other
Not who we think we are
Not who we should be
Not just making it work
Not just keeping the peace

Because I want to be
the real me
flawed and awkward

Because deep down
I like me
flawed and awkward

and I’m hoping
you will like
the real me
too
boundaries 6

 

Other boundary posts:
Boundaries
Setting Boundaries

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Sometimes
it’s hard to accept a gift

For I learned
gifts often came tied with stringsstrings
future expectations
future requirements
on my behavior
on my attitude
despite other
confusing unpleasantness

So when I take the package
and unwrap the layers
I accept the twisted strands
and coil them around my wrist
knowing I could be asked
for something in return
at any given moment

Tug.

Instantly
I lose my ability
to say no,
not right now,
sorry, I can’t.
that’s not how I feel.
I don’t want to.

But now I’ve learned
Not everyone feels that way
Not everyone has expectations of return
Not everyone laces invisible strings
around the package

And even if they do
I am not obligated
to tie that string around my wrist
to follow the tug
or to be
anything other
than me

Instead I can watch the strands
swirl around my arm
not a thick string
but a chiffon scarf
that flutters to the ground

For I can choose
I can control
what I am willing to accept
and there are
no strings on me

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