Posted in Healing, Self worth, tagged acceptance, anxiety, approval, belonging, fear, letting go, listen to me, overcome, relationships, self esteem, self worth, worry on June 27, 2015| 7 Comments »
I have a fear
of not being heard
of not being understood
of not being known.
Sometimes
I think this leads me to say
most every little thing
I am feeling or thinking.
But I am learning
I don’t have to
say it all.
Not everyone needs to hear me.
Not everyone needs to understand me.
And most people aren’t going to understand me anyway.
And that’s OK.
I think
what it comes down to
is that to be heard
I actually don’t need to be listened to
by anyone
but me.
Posted in Healing, Self worth, tagged being accepted, confidence, expectations, fear, grace, guilt, overcome, poetry, pressure, relationships, saying no, self esteem, worry on June 22, 2015| 3 Comments »
Sometimes
I have to say no.
It’s important for me to do so
and it’s being true
to what I am really feeling
So I say no
not today
not now
I’m sorry, I can’t
But then the guilt.
It washes over me
floods my thoughts
churns in my belly
How can I say no?
They need me
need my help
need my service
and maybe need God through me
so the thoughts keep spinning
that I’m just being selfish
and would it have really hurt me
to drop what I’m doing
to add more to my plate
and would it have really hurt me
to give one more afternoon
because people give to me
and so shouldn’t I give back
all that I have?
all that I am?
but then I remember
what I can be like
when I don’t take care of myself
the tailspin I can create
the emotional states
the physical decline
and then I remember
that when people give to me
give in healthy ways
it doesn’t require
of loss of myself
to them
it is a gift
and then I remember
that setting boundaries
establishing limits
makes me MORE able to help
more able to be present
more able to be me
in those times that
are appropriate
and that’s woman –
that’s who
they were asking for
in the first place
Originally published 11.23.2012
If you can use a little help saying NO without feeling guilt,
you may like to join my FREE online class, this Wednesday.
(recording will be available)
Click here for info and registration.
Posted in Healing, Self worth, tagged boundaries, burden, burnout, caretaking, codependency, letting go, overwhelm, pressure, relationships, responsibility, self esteem, self worth, you take care of you on June 11, 2015| 6 Comments »
Full of air
but not of helium
filled with
your own breath
your own hopes
your own dreams
it floats just above the ground
threatening to land on
sharp grass
jagged fence posts
my fork
And now it seems
It’s my job to keep it afloat
It’s my job to protect it from hot lava
It’s my job to bounce it higher
It’s my job to guard it safely
It certainly seems my job
not to be the one
to pop it
And so I reach out to lift up
up up up
into the light
words of praise
And so I reach out to protect
tap tap tap
away from harm
words of encouragement
But as I reach out,
I may say the wrong words
I may do the wrong actions
Because it’s not my balloon.
And as I reach out,
I may miss
and that balloon
it may pop
So I can’t be the one
who holds your balloon
So I can’t be the one
to sustain it in air
So I can’t be the one
to guard you from disappointment
And I can’t be responsible
for your balloon.
Posted in Self worth, Workshops, tagged expectations, letting go, overcome, overwhelmed, perfect, perfectionism, pressure, relationships, self care, self esteem, self worth, support, unrealistic on April 29, 2015| 2 Comments »
Well, lovelies,
I have to tell you
I’ve been having so much fun
in the Know My Worth Workshop
this month, that I’m doing a new one for May!
Let me tell you a little about it… (video)
So, are you tired of always trying to have it all together?
Being micro-managed by unrealistic expectations?
We fool ourselves into thinking perfectionism is one of those “weaknesses” we love to have. That we are just striving for excellence and being our best.
I am tired of going it alone, being strong, having it “all together”
when inside I’m often falling apart.
I hope you will stand with me, and practice a little Un-Perfectionism!
We start Friday!
click here or on the image for more details.
Blessings!
PS – I want it to be a small group, creating the safety of getting to know each other and personalized support, so “seats” are limited to 21 women. And it’s only $99 for the entire 21 days – that’s the cost of a single coaching session.
PPS – the first 10 registrants also get a special bonus gift! Check it out 🙂
Posted in Photo quotes, Self worth, tagged beautiful, believe in yourself, complex, doubt, flawed, imperfect, pressure, respect, see the real you, self esteem, woman of God on March 14, 2015| 3 Comments »
Posted in Healing, Self worth, tagged i am complete, letting go, love, notice me, poetry, praise, pressure, relationships, respect, self esteem, worry, worth on September 30, 2014| 2 Comments »
I ask a question
and you just ignore me
moving into other topics
as if I said nothing
I share an idea
and you just ignore me
asking others for feedback
as if I said nothing
I strain
I strive
Aching for you to notice me
Yearning for you to appreciate me
I want you to be proud of me
I want to feel the glow
of “doing good”
But that just isn’t happening.
And it’s not going to happen.
So I need to remember
reality check time
my worth is not determined
by your approval.
My worth is not determined
by how much you like me
by how smart you think I am
by how much I add to the conversation
It may feel a little extreme, but I realize…
You don’t have to like me.
You don’t have to think I’m smart.
You don’t have to want to hear me.
You don’t have to even see me.
I still have worth
outside of you.
Posted in Healing, Photo quotes, Self worth, tagged anxiety, comparison, control, expectations, forgiveness, letting go, pressure, relationships, self esteem, self worth on August 18, 2014| 2 Comments »
When something
or someone
here on Earth
hurts me
oh so badly
their words or deeds
penetrate my soul
the betrayal of spirit
the helplessness and futility
wounds of the heart
that seem to bleed and ooze
I need to take a moment
to stop and think
instead of feel
because when someone is able to hurt me to the core
it could actually be a sign
of my own unhealthy attachment
of my own expectations
that THIS PERSON will fulfill my needs
that A PERSON could fulfilll my needs
When we are all
just people
trying to survive
trying to figure it out for ourselves
And when someone hurts me
betrays me
mocks me
forgets me
ignores me
It’s not about me
It’s about them
finding their own way
figuring out their own mess
living their own truth
dealing with their own demons
I need to let it go
because their actions
their behaviors
are not a reflection of me
or of my worth
and I’m the only one
who can choose
to stop internalizing
to stop owning their mess
to stop
hurting so badly
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged beauty, comparison is the thief of joy, expectations, false standards, fearfully and wonderfully made, God, pressure, self esteem, success, worth on June 25, 2014| 6 Comments »
Bombarded daily
to define myself
by some worldly standard
of success
of beauty
of worth
Is my job good enough?
Am I in fashion?
Do I make enough money?
Does my hair look right?
Is my house acceptable?
How about my body?
Do I have the right friends?
Do I hang out in the best places?
Do I make everyone happy?
Does everyone like me?
Am I a good girl?
If I align my life
with what the world says
these standards should be
will I feel satisfied?
will I feel worthy?
Nope.
Because none of it
none of the stuff
none of the opinions
none of the ways in which the world wants to define me
none of it
makes me who I am
or adds any value
to my soul
For I am fearfully
and wonderfully made
Loved
and cherished
just as I am
Without all the stuff
Without being in style
Without pleasing anyone
For nothing I do,
nothing I have done,
and nothing that has been done to me
defines my worth
Posted in Healing, Self worth, tagged anxiety, condemnation, control, doubt, expectations, forgiveness, negative self talk, overcome, poetry, pressure, relationships, self care, self esteem on November 25, 2013| 3 Comments »
Stop being so mean
saying such horrible things
squelching the spirit
paralyzing with doubt
creating a life of insecurity
Stop being so cruel
aggressive and angry
ripping apart dreams
tearing open old wounds
with smug satisfaction
Stop being so harmful
your unhealthy coping
never satisfies the ache
only leaving you empty
or full
of regret
Stop being so critical
so quick to judge
refusing to be kind
or forgiving
for even the tiniest of things
Stop living in the past
accepting only negative interpretations
of how things are
or were
and how you are to blame
Stop it!
I say to myself
with hope
that this time
I will listen
Posted in Healing, Photo quotes, Self worth, tagged dreams, forgiveness, healing, I'm worth it, intention, kindness, letting go, making mistakes, self esteem, self worth on July 27, 2013| 8 Comments »
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