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Posts Tagged ‘self worth’

I know sometimes I’m not easy.
I am a complicated woman
who knows what
a good relationship
can look like,
and that colors
my expectations.
I’m not wooed by
sweet-sounding words,
bold professions of love,
or grand romantic gestures…
I’m actually quite leery of them.
I am slow to jump into big decisions;
I like to follow my heart and my brain.
I’m often too serious, guarded, and pensive.
Heartbreak, loss and pain shape my view.
It sometimes takes work
to love me.
But I love
with my
whole heart,
I’m loyal,
I’m fierce,
and I’m worth it.

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Hello dear friends,

You don’t see me much these days as I’m back in school, and creative time is often taken up by discussion forums and reflection papers. I’m learning more skills to add to coaching; I’m working to become a therapist.

I recently wrote this simple post for class, and today I felt led to share my heart with you here.

Reflections on Worthiness

In 2011, based on my mother’s steps in her own life, I had an epiphany. My mom had decided to divorce, in spite of her firm beliefs about God’s law and wrongness of divorce.  When she made that decision, I felt a surge of freedom that comes with stepping into true grace.  The Holy Spirit whispered an insight to me that became the foundation of this blog and Facebook community: Nothing I do, nothing I’ve done, and nothing that has been done to me impacts my worth.Nothing I do mantra

I knew, without a doubt, that God still loved my mother even though she was divorcing.  I knew that even though this event would create sorrow and difficulty, God would be there.  And in that experience, my mom may be able to hear him even more clearly than she ever had before in her life.  I knew that God would use this time to bring her close, not to judge or condemn her, but to truly show her what His love and grace could look like, and how comforting it could be.

Through this understanding about my mom, I realized that throughout my life, I’d been trying to prove myself worthy – worthy of relationships, worthy of successes, worthy of happiness, worthy of God’s love. Through my own efforts, my own attempts at being “good” I would somehow find peace and love. But that’s actually opposite to how the gift of grace works… the more we strive, the further away we get from just accepting the gift, from just accepting our inherent worth.

Even when we do things that seem “wrong,” God can use those errors to bring us closer to him.  When bad things happen to us in life, God can use those events to bring us closer to him.  Trauma can create depth.  Sinfulness can create true repentance.  Mistakes create understanding.   All of these “bad” or “wrong” things that we do in our lives are tools that God uses to help us understand his love, his grace, and his view of us through Christ, as worthy, beautiful, and beloved – just as we are, just as he created us, and just as he has always known we would be. We cannot become any more or any less worthy than we already are.

 


Thank you for being here with me on this journey of worth.  I will continue to post here from time to time as the Spirit leads. To connect a bit more often (2x mo), I hope you join my Worth & Wisdom newsletter

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I have a fear
of not being heard
of not being understoodThinking

of not being known.

Sometimes
I think this leads me to say
most every little thing
I am feeling or thinking.

But I am learning
I don’t have to
say it all.

Not everyone needs to hear me.
Not everyone needs to understand me.

And most people aren’t going to understand me anyway.
And that’s OK.

I think
what it comes down to
is that to be heard
I actually don’t need to be listened to
by anyone
but me.

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Full of air
but not of helium

filled withballoon
your own breath
your own hopes
your own dreams

it floats just above the ground
threatening to land on
sharp grass
jagged fence posts
my fork

And now it seems

It’s my job to keep it afloat
It’s my job to protect it from hot lava
It’s my job to bounce it higher
It’s my job to guard it safely

It certainly seems my job
not to be the one 
to pop it

And so I reach out to lift up
up up up
into the light

words of praise

And so I reach out to protect
tap tap tap
away from harm

words of encouragement

But as I reach out,
I may say the wrong words
I may do the wrong actions

Because it’s not my balloon.

And as I reach out,
I may miss
and that balloon
it may pop

So I can’t be the one
who holds your balloon

So I can’t be the one
to sustain it in air

So I can’t be the one
to guard you from disappointment

And I can’t be responsible
for your balloon.

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I don’t think I’ve ever really introduced myself…
and after about 3 and a half years, it’s probably time. 😉

So here’s a video welcome from me to the KMW blog.

❤ Thank you for joining me on this journey ❤

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Well, lovelies,
I have to tell you
I’ve been having so much fun
in the Know My Worth Workshop
this month, that I’m doing a new one for May!

Let me tell you a little about it… (video)

So, are you tired of always trying to have it all together?
Being micro-managed by unrealistic expectations?

We fool ourselves into thinking perfectionism is one of those “weaknesses” we love to have. That we are just striving for excellence and being our best.

But actually, perfectionism causes
anxiety, depression, irritability and isolation.

I am tired of going it alone, being strong, having it “all together”
when inside I’m often falling apart.

I hope you will stand with me, and practice a little Un-Perfectionism!

We start Friday!
click here or on the image for more details.

PUP workshop

Blessings!

PS – I want it to be a small group, creating the safety of getting to know each other and personalized support, so “seats” are limited to 21 women.  And it’s only $99 for the entire 21 days – that’s the cost of a single coaching session.

PPS – the first 10 registrants also get a special bonus gift!  Check it out 🙂

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A reminder today, for any day…

I am worthy
just as I am

I will not look to others
to define myself

I will not look to others
for acceptance and approval

I will not look to others
to justify or rationalize
any of my own
internal negativity

I am doing the best I can
with all that I have
in this moment
in this day
in this time
in this space

and that’s enough
because I’m enough

I am lovable
I am precious
I am beautiful
I am worthy.

I am enough

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Ding Dong.ding dong

I’m here.
I’m at the house.
I’m ready to go in.

Or am I?

For as soon as I do
will I remember

who I am?

Will I be labeled
with my past
with my mistakes
with my dark times?

Will I be labeled
with old nicknames
with old jokes
with old embarrassing stories?

Failed expectations
of who I am “supposed to” be

Will I fall into
the role of child
of black sheep
of petulant teen?

Will I fall into
old habits
old patterns
old thinking?

Will I remember
all I have become
all I have learned
all that has changed

All that I am?

I must.
I can.

I will.

I will set boundaries.
I will stand up for myself kindly and openly.
I will take a deep breath whenever I need to.
I will remember my worth.

Ding Dong.

If you can use some help remembering your worth over the holidays,
I’m doing a FREE webinar on Tuesday to give you some tips and share some insights.
 Click here to join me!

free webinar

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Friends, I’m thrilled to announce my new book –

and this one is written by me AND YOU!

The Know My Worth Poem & Prayer Journal

Know My Worth Journal

daydream, muse, heal, relax

This 242 page book contains original poems and prayers written by me (several new, with a few classics from this blog) scattered between beautifully framed pages for YOUR original words.  I’ve created themes throughout the book – themes like faith, confidence, and of course – self worth! I’ve sprinkled affirmations throughout for pep talk reminders while you reflect.

I hope you pick one up for you, and think of it as the perfect gift for a friend or relative.

Currently available (I noticed a sale price!) on Amazon

Thanks for your support!

My other book, Motivational Mondays is also available on Amazon
– you know, just in case you need a couple of gifts. 🙂

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When something
or someone
here on Earth

hurts me
oh so badly

their words or deeds
penetrate my soul

the betrayal of spirit
the helplessness and futility

wounds of the heart
that seem to bleed and ooze

I need to take a moment
to stop and think
instead of feel

because when someone is able to hurt me to the core
it could actually be a sign
of my own unhealthy attachment

of my own expectations
that THIS PERSON will fulfill my needs
that A PERSON could fulfilll my needs

When we are all
just people
trying to survive
trying to figure it out for ourselves

And when someone hurts me
betrays me
mocks me
forgets me
ignores me

It’s not about me

It’s about them
finding their own way
figuring out their own mess
living their own truth
dealing with their own demons

I need to let it go
because their actions
their behaviors
are not a reflection of me
or of my worth

and I’m the only one
who can choose
to stop internalizing
to stop owning their mess
to stop
hurting so badly

let them own it

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