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Archive for the ‘Poetry’ Category

I wandered the streets
looking for a home
looking to be welcomed
looking to be loved

You found me.

You took me in
gave me shelter
gave me love
gave me hope.

I ate the finest vittles
Slept warmly on your bed

I reveled in the gentle caresses
behind my ears, down my spine
along my underbelly
with tender fingertips
and feathery whispers

You told me
I was beautiful
You needed me
I was amazing
You wanted me
I was important.

Your loyal pet
through everything
and everywhere

Comforting you in hard times
Celebrating with you in the good

Listening to your every word
with genuine care and attention,
empathy and silent understanding

Fiercely protective
Genuinely devoted

You bathed me
with soap
and love
I felt special
and brave
and safe

I’d found my home.

But things changed.
You changed.

You stopped letting me inside
annoyed at my presence

You stopped feeding me
angry when I begged for scraps

You stopped loving me
withholding soft words and touches

You called me disgusting.

I tried to remind you
of all that I added to your life
of how much I loved you
and how much you needed me

But you didn’t remember.

Others around you
made sure I didn’t get inside
They kicked me, ignored me, starved me
they never liked you having me anyway.

Kick a dog enough times
eventually it gets the hint.

I don’t belong to you anymore.

I am no longer wanted,
needed, or special.
And there is
nothing
I can do
to change that.

So I wander off
a stray once again
looking for a home
where someone
will love me.

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I know sometimes I’m not easy.
I am a complicated woman
who knows what
a good relationship
can look like,
and that colors
my expectations.
I’m not wooed by
sweet-sounding words,
bold professions of love,
or grand romantic gestures…
I’m actually quite leery of them.
I am slow to jump into big decisions;
I like to follow my heart and my brain.
I’m often too serious, guarded, and pensive.
Heartbreak, loss and pain shape my view.
It sometimes takes work
to love me.
But I love
with my
whole heart,
I’m loyal,
I’m fierce,
and I’m worth it.

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Oh Creator,
Give me the desire and the ability

to forgive myself

for times of being unaware
and not seeing things as clearly as I do now

for times of seeing acceptance
in people instead of you

for times of being naive
getting caught in someone’s snares

for times my words or actions
didn’t match who I want myself to be

for times of being human
needing space to learn and heal

for times of needing help
letting go of past hurts and old patterns

Give me the ability, desire, and the courage
to be compassionate with myself
to take steps forward
to believe I am worthy
just as I am.

04.23b self forgiveness prayer

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Sometimes
I get so busy

making sure everyone
has what they need

making sure everything
gets done as it should

making sure everywhere
has been shopped or cleaned

that I forget to
STOP.

And I forget to
BE

making sure
I take care
of everyday me

It's OK to take care of me too

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magazines by Zela rgbstock.com

Too many things to read
Too many words to absorb

Too many things to write
Too many words to express

Too many things to do
Too many hopes to fulfill

Too many things to say
Too many people to help

Too many  things to achieve
Too many resolutions to realize

Too many expectations.

Who puts all this on me?
How did I get to this place?
Who is responsible?
How can it be fixed?
Who must take action?

Oh, Me.
All me.

So in one moment
with one choice

I can hit “Delete”
I can say “No”

I can throw them away
and change all the expectations.

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Oh glorious Creator,

You love me
when I am feeling (or acting) unlovable.

You hear me
when my thoughts are a jumbled mess.You love me when

You see me
when I try to hide in shame.

You love me
when I am moody and selfish.

You hold me
when I grieve devastating loss.

You protect me
when I am attacked by fear.

You love me
when I am afraid and alone.

You comfort me
when I don’t even know I’m sad.

You know me
when I am a confusing puddle to myself.

You love me
no matter what

I am
awed
amazed
thankful
joyful

that you do.

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Who told you
that we need long hair
lashes or nails
rosy pink cheeks
and hidden pores
to be a woman?

As a girlWho told you that you needed to shave?
I rushed to grow up
to be a woman
what I thought it was to be

sneaking eyeliner to school
cutting myself with mom’s razor
plucking, curling, crimping
scouring for the perfect shade
to be pretty

Who told me
that I needed color palates
pinks and purples
lotions and potions
creamy and pungent

to be a woman?

Who told me
that I had to shave?

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