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Posts Tagged ‘alone’

I wandered the streets
looking for a home
looking to be welcomed
looking to be loved

You found me.

You took me in
gave me shelter
gave me love
gave me hope.

I ate the finest vittles
Slept warmly on your bed

I reveled in the gentle caresses
behind my ears, down my spine
along my underbelly
with tender fingertips
and feathery whispers

You told me
I was beautiful
You needed me
I was amazing
You wanted me
I was important.

Your loyal pet
through everything
and everywhere

Comforting you in hard times
Celebrating with you in the good

Listening to your every word
with genuine care and attention,
empathy and silent understanding

Fiercely protective
Genuinely devoted

You bathed me
with soap
and love
I felt special
and brave
and safe

I’d found my home.

But things changed.
You changed.

You stopped letting me inside
annoyed at my presence

You stopped feeding me
angry when I begged for scraps

You stopped loving me
withholding soft words and touches

You called me disgusting.

I tried to remind you
of all that I added to your life
of how much I loved you
and how much you needed me

But you didn’t remember.

Others around you
made sure I didn’t get inside
They kicked me, ignored me, starved me
they never liked you having me anyway.

Kick a dog enough times
eventually it gets the hint.

I don’t belong to you anymore.

I am no longer wanted,
needed, or special.
And there is
nothing
I can do
to change that.

So I wander off
a stray once again
looking for a home
where someone
will love me.

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Sometimes I feel
like I can’t figure out a thing
I don’t know where I’m going
or even who I am

I stand at an open gate
and wonder which direction to take
wonder where each path may lead
and what adventures await

Excitement and bravery
get shoved to the back of my mind
roughed up, knocked down
by negative thought bullies

I feel panic start to rise
thoughts of doubt and fear
Insecurity quickly
steals my joy

Can I trust myself?
Can I figure it out?

And then I remember

I don’t have to do this alone

I have the Holy Spirit
within me
I have a guide and a compass
right in my heart

Waiting to whisper
what step to take
who to watch out for
where to go

If I can just be still
and listen
and let the Spirit lead me

spirit lead me

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Today could seem
a lonely day

All excitement is done
All furvor has gone

Leftovers are scavenged
Only fruitcake cookiestwinkle
wait to be eaten

I sit
solemn and quiet
no music or laughter
fills this space
Only rain
taps a melody
on the window

Christmas lights
twinkle a delicate reminder
it’s time to be put away

Today could seem
a lonely day

But
God is here
always up for a chat
He sits in the armchair
and sips spiced tea

And
a good book
waits for my attention
a thrilling tale
of intrigue
and human nature

So
I sit
with adventures awaiting
knowing that today
Only could seem
a lonely day

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When I feel anxious,
fearful and dismayed,
what is the lie that is getting in?

That I am not safe
That I am alone
That I am unloved

When I feel lethargic,
listless and drained,
what is the lie that is getting in?

That I am living without purpose
That I am alone
That I am unloved

When I feel blue,
cloudy and detached,
what is the lie that is getting in?

That I am not worthy
That I am alone
That I am unloved

BUT

Not one
None
Zero
of these thoughts are true

Lies and falsehoods
whispered in my ear
by demons perhaps
whispered through my mind
old stories replayed
through a child’s lens

SO

I make a choice
with an adult mind
and knowledge of truth
I will not listen
to those whispers

FOR

deep in my soul I know
TRUTH
I am not alone
Instead
I am loved beyond measure
by a God
who
cradles my heart
who
swaddles my soul
and carries me
away from whispers
and lies

AND

I will not feel anxious
listless or blue
For I am not alone

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