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Posts Tagged ‘trust’

I’ve never understood
some of the words chosen
attempting comfort
to a friend in pain

Lines awkwardly offered
in times of sadness
times of loss
times of uncertainty
times of disappointment

Things will get better
said with a sigh

At least it’s not …
said with hopeful eyebrows

Just hang in there
said with a rub on the shoulder

And

God will never give you more
than you can handle
said with resolve.

Total bull.

Life doesn’t always get better.
Life on this Earth isn’t always sunshine.
Sometimes hanging in
is the hardest thing
you’ve ever done.
Sometimes grieving
is the thing you must do.

AND of course God will
allow us to experience

more than we can handle

because if we could
actually handle it all

we wouldn’t call upon God.

Troubleshooting issues,
we wouldn’t call out for wisdom

Searching solutions for control,
we wouldn’t find genuine peace

The whole point
of living through
our painful experiences
of enduring the loss
of waiting for change
is to get closer to our Creator

And that connection
is what will bring true comfort
more than any words on Earth.

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Oh Creator,
Give me the desire and the ability

to forgive myself

for times of being unaware
and not seeing things as clearly as I do now

for times of seeing acceptance
in people instead of you

for times of being naive
getting caught in someone’s snares

for times my words or actions
didn’t match who I want myself to be

for times of being human
needing space to learn and heal

for times of needing help
letting go of past hurts and old patterns

Give me the ability, desire, and the courage
to be compassionate with myself
to take steps forward
to believe I am worthy
just as I am.

04.23b self forgiveness prayer

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I need to let go
of the need
for control

When I think I have everything handled
When I think I’ve got it all figured out
When I think I know the answers

I don’t.

I need to let go
of the need
for certainty

When I think I found the right path
When I think I am ready to charge ahead
When I think I see a perfect vision and purpose

I don’t.

Because certainty is an illusion
And looking for it
leads me into
hesitation
fear
paralysis

Yet if I let God
do Her thing

If I let go of the need
for control
for certainty

Then all that I need

the desire
the power
the energy
the faith

All will be given to me
Just when I need it
Just how I need it
completely and beautifully
out of my control


philippians 2.13

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When I feel alone
in a room crowded with people

When I feel panic
swelling in my gut

When I feel worry
creeping into my brain

When I feel uneasy in any way
I know the darkness of fear
is trying to get in

I know the dark one
is trying to break me down

But I am a child of light
I am loved
I am never alone
My life mapped
My purpose designed

And like a child
into a swimming pool
I must jump
with all my being
with childlike trust
and splash and play
in waters of uncertainty
without the flotation devices
of knowledge and control
yet faith and hope
keep me afloat

So when I feel fear, panic or worry
When I feel uncertain or out of control
It’s time to let go
to live in faith
to jump in the pool
to float in trust
surrounded by love

swimming pool

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brave

I was given this message today
in more ways than one

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Ready to live

Ready to seeLily Pond

Ready to learn

Ready to hope

Ready to create

Ready to breathe

Ready to laugh

Ready to change

Ready to give

Ready to listen

Ready to work

Ready to believe

Ready to step

Ready to jump

Ready to fly

Ready to be
completely me

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I want to live my truth

and yet…

I struggle to define it

what is real?
what speaks directly to my heart?
how do I define this life?

What is truth?My path, my truth

Others want to define truth for us
teachers, pastors, parents, friends

And for much of my life
I let them

and yet…

I don’t think I can
any longer

I feel fear
breaking molds
not meeting expectations
not fitting in

and yet…

I feel free
living authentically
living my truth
building my own faith

I will say
what it is I believe

I will determine
what is “right”

I will know
what God speaks to my heart

I will release
judgment and fear

I will be ready
to follow my heart
and all
that is revealed

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