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Posts Tagged ‘grief’

I’ve never understood
some of the words chosen
attempting comfort
to a friend in pain

Lines awkwardly offered
in times of sadness
times of loss
times of uncertainty
times of disappointment

Things will get better
said with a sigh

At least it’s not …
said with hopeful eyebrows

Just hang in there
said with a rub on the shoulder

And

God will never give you more
than you can handle
said with resolve.

Total bull.

Life doesn’t always get better.
Life on this Earth isn’t always sunshine.
Sometimes hanging in
is the hardest thing
you’ve ever done.
Sometimes grieving
is the thing you must do.

AND of course God will
allow us to experience

more than we can handle

because if we could
actually handle it all

we wouldn’t call upon God.

Troubleshooting issues,
we wouldn’t call out for wisdom

Searching solutions for control,
we wouldn’t find genuine peace

The whole point
of living through
our painful experiences
of enduring the loss
of waiting for change
is to get closer to our Creator

And that connection
is what will bring true comfort
more than any words on Earth.

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Oh glorious Creator,

You love me
when I am feeling (or acting) unlovable.

You hear me
when my thoughts are a jumbled mess.You love me when

You see me
when I try to hide in shame.

You love me
when I am moody and selfish.

You hold me
when I grieve devastating loss.

You protect me
when I am attacked by fear.

You love me
when I am afraid and alone.

You comfort me
when I don’t even know I’m sad.

You know me
when I am a confusing puddle to myself.

You love me
no matter what

I am
awed
amazed
thankful
joyful

that you do.

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Grief

Was it all my imagination?

All that time
I thought you cared about me

But maybe you only cared
about how I made you feel
how I helped you
how I listened to you
how it was always a focus
on you you you

Did you even know me?
Did you even like me?
for me?

There were times
I did share things with you
I did talk about my feelings
my hopes and my dreams
I know it wasn’t all bad
Sometimes you cared,
right?

Why do I miss you?
Do I really, or
Do I miss being needed
and taking care of you

So why do I miss you?
Why does my heart ache?

I don’t think I ever felt valued
for being me
only for what I did for you

Or
is that just the reaction I feel
the color of the memories
in my grief

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Sadness.
I’m sad.
Right?

I know I should be sad
And in many ways I am

But not in the ways –
Not for the things –
I am supposed to be.

I am sad for what wasn’t
not for the loss of what was

I am sad for the lost opportunities
I am sad for the relationship
that never really was

I am sad that my expectations
of what we could have been
were never realized.

Yes, I am sad.

And how my sadness manifests…
Well, there is no right way
There is no wrong way.

People grieve in different ways
People grieve for different things
Whose to say we aren’t all grieving
for what could have been?

I do know
that God sits right next to us
when we are sad.
No matter the reason, He sits.
He loves.
He hugs.

And it’s ok to be sad
for what could have been.

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