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Posts Tagged ‘pressure’

Sometimes
I get so busy

making sure everyone
has what they need

making sure everything
gets done as it should

making sure everywhere
has been shopped or cleaned

that I forget to
STOP.

And I forget to
BE

making sure
I take care
of everyday me

It's OK to take care of me too

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Thank you, Amazing Creator
for loving me
in a way
that no human could dothe only perfect love is God's love

For showing me
that I am worthy
of that love

That perfect love.

Yet any and every time
I try to find that perfect love
here on Earth
here in another person

I will be disappointed.

But it’s a reality that
we just can’t love
the way you can

we are flawed
sometimes selfish
often clueless

So I will
stop looking for
perfect love
in people

I will be satisfied
with finding it
only in you

And I will let people
be imperfect in their love
just like me.

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I don’t have to beI don't have to be good to be lovable
anything other than me

I don’t have to earn
anyone’s approval

I don’t have to fit
anyone’s expectations

I don’t have to receive
anyone’s validation or praise

I don’t have to mold myself I don't have to be thin to be lovable
into what society
says I should be

I don’t have to get permission
to like what I like
to say what I think
to be happy
with who I am
right now
this very
minuteI don't have to be successful to be lovable

For I don’t want to waste my life
having never known
who I am
what I’m meant to do
or how I’m meant to live

And so I choose
to see myself gently
to see myself lovingly

through the lens
of the Creator
who made meI don't have to be healthy to be lovable
exactly how I am

who gave me
every experience in my life
to learn and grow through

who gave me
every talent and gift
to share pure light
with the world

who gave meI don't have to be popular to be lovable
every flaw and shadow
to help me to remember

To be kind to myself
To be compassionate
To be filled with grace

And to learn
to love little ol’
lovable me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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magazines by Zela rgbstock.com

Too many things to read
Too many words to absorb

Too many things to write
Too many words to express

Too many things to do
Too many hopes to fulfill

Too many things to say
Too many people to help

Too many  things to achieve
Too many resolutions to realize

Too many expectations.

Who puts all this on me?
How did I get to this place?
Who is responsible?
How can it be fixed?
Who must take action?

Oh, Me.
All me.

So in one moment
with one choice

I can hit “Delete”
I can say “No”

I can throw them away
and change all the expectations.

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All the shopping
food and gifts

All the wrapping
ribbons and bows

All the baking
flour and sugar

All the decorating
colors and lights

All the cleaning
fresh and fragrant

All of it
fun
until it isn’t.

All of it
because I want to
until it isn’t.

All of it
at once…

until I say
wait.

And I take a deep breath
and I remember why
and I make choices
to do only
what it suits me
to do

Because I just can’t
Because I just won’t

DO or BE
all of it all.

Merry Christmas Everyone!
Christine

My worth is not measured here

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how long will it take
to wipe it from my mind
pretend all is well
and just move on

should i be mad
sad or frustrated?

should i be kind
forgive and forget?

nothing you do
is even about me
even if it impacts me
it’s not about me

and so i must let go
i must move on
but i can’t pretend
and i can’t forget

I don’t want to

because that feels phony
and makes me a little sick inside

how do i move forward
without being fake

how do i move forward
without calling it out
without a scream or a shout
without even a whisper
of how i feel

how do i move forward
without making it about me…
even for a minute?

because if i just let it go
if i don’t say a thing
about how it makes ME feel
would it, could it
just might it happen again?

how do i let go
without being a mess
how do i let go
without spiraling in shame
how do i let go
and still believe in me?

photo: Christine Morgan

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Ding Dong.ding dong

I’m here.
I’m at the house.
I’m ready to go in.

Or am I?

For as soon as I do
will I remember

who I am?

Will I be labeled
with my past
with my mistakes
with my dark times?

Will I be labeled
with old nicknames
with old jokes
with old embarrassing stories?

Failed expectations
of who I am “supposed to” be

Will I fall into
the role of child
of black sheep
of petulant teen?

Will I fall into
old habits
old patterns
old thinking?

Will I remember
all I have become
all I have learned
all that has changed

All that I am?

I must.
I can.

I will.

I will set boundaries.
I will stand up for myself kindly and openly.
I will take a deep breath whenever I need to.
I will remember my worth.

Ding Dong.

If you can use some help remembering your worth over the holidays,
I’m doing a FREE webinar on Tuesday to give you some tips and share some insights.
 Click here to join me!

free webinar

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I ask a question
and you just ignore me
moving into other topics
as if I said nothing

I share an idea
and you just ignore me
I still have worth, outside of you.asking others for feedback
as if I said nothing

I strain
I strive
Aching for you to notice me
Yearning for you to appreciate me

I want you to be proud of me
I want to feel the glow
of “doing good”

But that just isn’t happening.
And it’s not going to happen.

So I need to remember
reality check time

my worth is not determined
by your approval.

My worth is not determined
by how much you like me
by how smart you think I am
by how much I add to the conversation

It may feel a little extreme, but I realize…
You don’t have to like me.
You don’t have to think I’m smart.
You don’t have to want to hear me.

You don’t have to even see me.

I still have worth
outside of you.

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Who told you
that we need long hair
lashes or nails
rosy pink cheeks
and hidden pores
to be a woman?

As a girlWho told you that you needed to shave?
I rushed to grow up
to be a woman
what I thought it was to be

sneaking eyeliner to school
cutting myself with mom’s razor
plucking, curling, crimping
scouring for the perfect shade
to be pretty

Who told me
that I needed color palates
pinks and purples
lotions and potions
creamy and pungent

to be a woman?

Who told me
that I had to shave?

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56 drafts
humming in the queue

brimming with potential56 drafts
wisdom
heartache
praise
angst

eager to be deemed worthy
of the Publish button

anticipating the day
the writer becomes bold

courage creating freedom

Yet instead
here she creates
yet another draft
discussing the drafts

Revealing only
the desire to reveal
but not the bravery
to actually do it

today.

 

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