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Posts Tagged ‘hurt’

how long will it take
to wipe it from my mind
pretend all is well
and just move on

should i be mad
sad or frustrated?

should i be kind
forgive and forget?

nothing you do
is even about me
even if it impacts me
it’s not about me

and so i must let go
i must move on
but i can’t pretend
and i can’t forget

I don’t want to

because that feels phony
and makes me a little sick inside

how do i move forward
without being fake

how do i move forward
without calling it out
without a scream or a shout
without even a whisper
of how i feel

how do i move forward
without making it about me…
even for a minute?

because if i just let it go
if i don’t say a thing
about how it makes ME feel
would it, could it
just might it happen again?

how do i let go
without being a mess
how do i let go
without spiraling in shame
how do i let go
and still believe in me?

photo: Christine Morgan

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You mess with my mind
You play games with my head

You show up in my life
when you feel like it
but ignore me
when I  need you

I’m hopeful
then scared
then angry
then abandoned

I try to connect
to build a relationship
desperate to have
what I have always craved
with you

and when you don’t respond
then I try to let go
try to move on
heal that open wound

and then somehow
you sense it
I am moving on
leaving the game

So you pull me back in

You give me a taste
You pretend to care
You do just enough
before disappearing again

you take
and take
I let you
I keep coming back for more

because
I don’t really know
how to make it stop
how to let go completely

because
that might hurt
even more
than this

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I hate
feeling hurt
feeling stepped on
feeling overlooked
feeling left out
feeling betrayed
feeling cast aside
feeling put down
feeling teased
feeling ridiculed

feeling lost.

I love
feeling included
feeling valued
feeling special
feeling wanted
feeling encouraged
feeling smart
feeling funny
feeling important
feeling happy

feeling loved.

I know
I can’t have joy without being open to pain,
but when I hurt
God is there
to help me feel loved once again.

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