Know My Worth

You are angry with me
and my reaction
is fear
bewildered
loss

I don’t know what to do
I don’t know how to act
I don’t know how to be
and I feel
that it’s my fault
that it’s now my role
to soothe your anger
to fix the situation
to change myself
to hide in shame

I didn’t meet your expectations
I didn’t do things as you would have done
I didn’t know the right way to answer
I didn’t prevent this very moment

But then I remember
I am a grown woman
who has thoughts
and feelings
that are just as valid
as anyone else

And I remember
it’s not actually
my job
to fix your anger

your anger
is your feeling
and just because
you have a feeling
I am not required
to do anything

Trying to force me
to change – to do or be
what you want me to do or be
is bullying

Your anger belongs to you
and you have every right to feel it
You can believe it’s righteous
You can believe it’s justified
You can believe it requires action

And I can disagree.

If I change
I will change for me
If you change
You will change for you

and if we continue to disagree
and you continue to be angry with me
then our paths will change

Because I will no longer be
afraid of anger

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