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Posts Tagged ‘love’

Interesting
how I am always tryingflowers
to take care of you
how I strain and sweat
to make sure you are ok
to make sure you are happy
to make sure your feelings aren’t
hurt
regardless of how
I am feeling

But that’s not my job
it’s not up to me
to take care of you

You are grown
You are an adult
You can make your own decisions
You can make your own choices
You can handle
your own consequences

I don’t need to be involved
I don’t need to monitor
I don’t need to
make sure
everything is ok

Yet I do.

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Being a good person
loving and caring

Being a good teacher
guiding and imparting

Being a good partner
considerate and helpful

Being a good provider
feeding and sheltering

Being a good coach
available and accountable

Being a good child
obedient and achieving

Being a good parent
shaping and modeling

Being a good friend
listening and encouraging

All good things
Yes, indeed

Yet
not one of my roles
not one of the things I do
no matter how “good”
I am at it
no matter how “bad”
I am at it
not one of these things
determines my worth

I have worth.
I have value.
No matter what.

I have value just for being me

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Dear God,

With all my heart,
This year
2013
I give to you

Every year
I spend so much time
setting goals
figuring and strategizing
planning and organizing
mapping and preparing

for what?
illusion of control

This year
2013
I want to let go
of my need to control

of knowing
HOW
everything will turn out

of knowing
WHICH
is the “right” way

of knowing
WHERE
my path winds

I want to
let go of knowing
every little thing

This year
2013
I want to rest
and let you
do the figuring
the mapping
planning

And if I let you
You will guide me
and hold my hand
You will lead me
and lift the light
You will carry me
in your arms
You will give me the strength
to let it all go

This year
2013
my only plan
is to have no plan
of my own
and God,
you do all the knowing

God, I give 2013 to you

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We are celebrating the Fruit of the Spirit
this week on the Know My Worth Facebook page.

Which is your favorite?
Which is hardest to connect?

Peace

patience

kindness

self control

faithfulness

goodness

gentleness

joy

Love

Galatians 5:22
all photos are original ⓒ knowmyworth.com

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Today I am honored to be a guest blogger
over at The Monster in Your Closet.

If you don’t yet know Deborah,
she is a funny, authentic, loving soul
who most recently made me
both grin and weep with
Seeing my dog again, thanks to L’il D

My contribution
to her thankfulness campaign
is an ode to Hunger,
for in spite of fears about it
I am thankful for it.

I hope you enjoy it,
and get to know a little bit of Deb
while you’re there

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Delight yourself in the Lord
and He will give you the desires of your heart

Oh, how often
do we read
this promise
dreaming of
diamonds
and Playstations
and new jobs
or perfect spouses

dreaming
shiny new toys
are on their way
for good girls and boys

But
I don’t think it means
anything such as that

For when we truly delight
in God
when we truly focus
on Him
and all that He is,
everything else
melts away

We stop caring about
new toys
new jobs
new talents
new things

And He becomes
the only desire
the only delight
and all that we need
in this world

Psalm 37

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Why am I always
so focused on me?

focused on how I feel
or how you don’t
notice

When was the last time
I asked about you?

Why am I sitting
in a deep hole
a pit
of myself

It’s dark in here
I am alone
focused on myself
on me me me

It’s time to bring in some light
and all I need to do
is ask about you

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My river of codependency
deep and powerful
I tumble along
swept away
with the current

old habits
can
flow unheeded

I grasp at branches
looking for my self worth
along this twisting river

If I help you, will I feel valued?
If I lead this group, will I feel treasured?
If I do a good job, will I feel needed?
If I love you, will you love me?

And when you don’t need me
the grass pulls from its roots
and when situations don’t meet my expectations
the branch snaps from the tree

So branches
slip from my fingers
grasses and roots
pull from the edge
I pitch and twist
bumping into rocks
floundering through rapids
clinging to scraps
of debris
confused
and afraid

And then I remember
I control this river

I do not need to grasp and cling
to debris or branches

My worth is internal
the love of God
spreads from my fingers
light pours around me
and creates a raft
the water slows
I’m buoyed by light
and I float
watching the banks
pass on by

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Hello friends!
Today is my 40th birthday, and I’ve been having fun over the last two weeks celebrating the one year anniversary of this blog and Facebook page along with this upcoming day.

So how do I celebrate?
By celebrating wisdom.

First, I honored this little phrase as it was the one that started it all for me:

And this got me thinking; I seem to like my wisdom in small nibbles.

Such powerful things can be said in short phrases.

Words that make us think, images that bring us smiles

And now I have fallen in love with this concept.

So much so,
that I have started
another blog
dedicated to little bites of 3-word wisdom.

If little nibbles with your cup of tea too, come on over here to sign up.
I’m posting one nugget each day (so far), and I think you might enjoy them.
I know I am.

Thanks so much
to each of you
for being here
with me
on this journey!
❤ Love, Light and Blessings ❤

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Heartsick
and frustrated
when we can see
that people could be
so much more
so much bigger
so much greater
so much happier

if they only choose
to let go

to let go of some of their demons
some of their own insecurities
some of their own self-hatred

we can’t do it for them

and
it’s unimaginable for me
to let go of the HOPE
of anyone’s potential

if only he would ___
things would be awesome

maybe I could just ___
and it would all be ok

but I have to realize
that I can’t
I can’t fix it.
I can’t fix it for anyone
other than me

And so I must move on
without him
and focus on seeing
my own potential

 

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