Know My Worth

Sometimes I don’t wanna
be an adult

Sometimes I don’t want
to go to work
to pay the bills
to make important decisions
that impact others

Sometimes I don’t want
to be the responsible one
who “holds down the fort”
who takes care of everyone
who makes everything ok

Sometimes I wish
that I didn’t
know pain
know hurt
that I didn’t know
it always takes time
to heal

Sometimes I just want
to stand in the shower
until the hot water turns cold
and my hair is not yet clean
or better yet
sit in a tub
until wrinkled and shivering
shutting out the world
with the click of the door

Sometimes I just want
to lie on the couch
watch some numbing series
created in days long ago
wearing fuzzy animal pajamas
with 7up and Saltines
today comforting a soul
instead of a tummy

Sometimes I just want
to bury my fingers in warm dirt
sifting rocks from treasures
to cup my hands around a little moth
feel it flutter then fly away
to lie flat on the lawn
watching the clouds become stories
have conversation with ladybugs
and worry for her children

But I must find balance
for I am an adult

I pay the bills
to keep my comforts
I go to work
to make a difference
I make decisions
to take care of others
who have days
when they don’t wanna

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