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Posts Tagged ‘lies’

Light bulbs

Posted in Healing, Self worth, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on January 27, 2018| 6 Comments »

5 light bulbs in my kitchen
going out
one by one
until only one remained

Over time
the view dimmed
I didn’t even realize
how my awareness
was being changed

Stains went unnoticed
Spills got ignored
Crumbs gathered in corners
with shards of a broken glass

Filth crept in.

lightbulb by woodsy @ rgbstock.com

But today –
today I changed
the dead light bulbs

and it’s helping me see
everything
more clearly.

Bright white light
floods into hidden corners
shadows recede
like defeated trolls

I can see
what I have let happen
slowly bit by bit
in the creeping darkness

I can see…

The stains
of the lie of self hated
The spills
of unfulfilled hopes
The shards
of self confidence broken
The crumbs
of acceptance I’ve scraped for

I see it now.
in the light.

And I remember
I don’t have to live like this.

I begin to clean.

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When Fear Rises

Posted in Self worth, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2015| Leave a Comment »

When fear rises
with its hateful sword

Evil glint in the eyes
charging straight toward

Angels form a wall
of light and love

Radiating grace
truth from above

Swords clash
I am protected.

Fear Has No Power Here

I refuse to fear

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Not Alone

Posted in Healing, Self worth, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 14, 2012| 4 Comments »

When I feel anxious,
fearful and dismayed,
what is the lie that is getting in?

That I am not safe
That I am alone
That I am unloved

When I feel lethargic,
listless and drained,
what is the lie that is getting in?

That I am living without purpose
That I am alone
That I am unloved

When I feel blue,
cloudy and detached,
what is the lie that is getting in?

That I am not worthy
That I am alone
That I am unloved

BUT

Not one
None
Zero
of these thoughts are true

Lies and falsehoods
whispered in my ear
by demons perhaps
whispered through my mind
old stories replayed
through a child’s lens

SO

I make a choice
with an adult mind
and knowledge of truth
I will not listen
to those whispers

FOR

deep in my soul I know
TRUTH
I am not alone
Instead
I am loved beyond measure
by a God
who
cradles my heart
who
swaddles my soul
and carries me
away from whispers
and lies

AND

I will not feel anxious
listless or blue
For I am not alone

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Listening to the Lies

Posted in Healing, Poetry, Self worth, tagged , , , , on July 25, 2012| 3 Comments »

Lies reverberate
inside my head
as a familiar concert

Negative
Degrading
Hurtful
Lies

Comments said in days gone by
become the station I tune in today

I watch
old stories dance in time,
linking arms with new experiences
pulling those fresh faces
onto a dance floor
coated with poison

The songs are
always the same:
I’m not good enough
I’m not smart enough
I’m not … enough

Why do I continue to play
these dissonant melodies?

Do these sad sounds
somehow bring me comfort
with their familiar tune?

Because
this chorus
is filled
with lies
and
I need to stop
replaying the verses.

New experiences must
lead a contemporary tango
What I hear and know today must
become the orchestral swell

I am enough
Just as I am
Just for who I am
Just because I am

me.

Old stories,
Old comments,
are played-out tunes
no longer welcome in this dance hall.

It’s time for new music
a new melody
a new dance

and to stop listening to the lies

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Silence

Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged , , , , , , , , , on April 28, 2012| 2 Comments »

I am silent.
again.

Why don’t I speak?
Why don’t I share?
Why don’t I express my needs?

A little voice inside
tells me
my needs don’t matter
my cares aren’t valid
my desires are selfish

I should just keep them to myself.

But that’s a lie.

Then
another voice creeps in
This one tells me
others should ask me
about my needs
about my cares
If I am valuable,
they should want to ask

But that is also a lie.

My needs are valid
My cares are important
My opinions do matter

And
when I don’t share
my thoughts and feelings

when I expect others
to just know my desires
to know I am waiting to be asked

While I wait
I give away the power over my life.

And as I wait
for someone else
to determine my path

The lies get louder
The hurt seeps in
Self-doubt
plagues

All because of MY silence.
And I can fix it.

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Don’t See me as Perfect

Posted in i AM complete, Poetry, Self worth, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2012| 2 Comments »

Another romantic comedy
flits to my mind
the idea that someone would “See me as perfect”
creates fear of it’s own kind

It’s not endearing
to see a false version of me
It makes me feel pressure
and wonder who you want me to be

I am me
Perfection only in God’s eyes
let’s keep it real between us
no romanticized lies

 

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Saying Sorry

Posted in i AM complete, Self worth, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on February 7, 2012| 1 Comment »

In the classic movie – Love Story
one of the worst lines ever uttered
and proclaimed to be romantic:

~ Love means never having to say you’re sorry ~

excuse me, huh?
in what world
is that ok?

If you love me
and you hurt me
You need to be sorry
You need to mean it

That’s what love is
Care for me
Respect me
and my feelings
Think before you
speak

And definitely,
most assuredly, most respectfully, most humbly, most lovingly
say when you are sorry.

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More than Hello

Posted in i AM complete, Self worth, tagged , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2012| Leave a Comment »

You cannot have me at hello.

I have more value
I deserve more respect
I respect myself
far too much
To allow your cute face and sweet talk
to make me forget my worth.

You cannot have me at hello.

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Self Sabotage

Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 8, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Sometimes

when things are going well
things are just so right
having fun
feeling good
happy

I can’t enjoy it.

I am waiting for the shoe to drop
the bad taste to arrive
the bricks to shatter
the fist to punch
the hateful comments
to ring in my ears
to squelch my happiness

Maybe the shoe
will even be
something I do
something I say
that messes things up

Not that bad
has to be coming
but I anticipate it will
and in doing
create an internal sabotage.

Anticipating the shoe
can be worse than the shoe itself.

But

I don’t have to live this way
I can delight in God
and know that He is there at all times

He delights in my delights
He is happy when I am happy
and He is there
when happiness is not.

He will hold me tightly
if a shoe, taste, brick, fist, or comment
comes into my life
whether I anticipate
its arrival
or not.

So

in the meantime, I need want to be happy.

Thank you, Lord, for happy.

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You Can’t Make Me

Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on January 4, 2012| 7 Comments »

You can’t make me

say any certain words

feel any certain feelings

think any certain thoughts

look any certain style

act any certain way

be any certain woman

You can
criticize
cajole
critique
advise
intimidate
mock
beach stroll by Matthew Bowden“help”

but still

You can’t
make me
anything.

I choose
my actions
reactions

I choose
to know
who I am

separate from
who you think
I am

instead
connected to
who God thinks
I am

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