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Posts Tagged ‘communication’

When folks aren’t communicating well

Each one talking, no one listening
I can almost always see what’s happening.

Unless, of course, I’m one of the two,
but that’s for another day…

So, I watch them talk
and see both perspectives

The points not being heard
the inferences not being shared
only implied, not received
the intent
vs. the impact

Perception is reality.

ButThe Fixer

Just because I can see
what’s going on,

it does not mean
they want my help.

when no one is listening
they certainly don’t want
2 cents from me

And my best intentions
just complicate things further

I must resist helping
FIXING FIXING FIXING
CREATING PEACE
MAKING IT ALL OK

When no one has called in
The Fixer

Because I don’t need to prove
that I am smart
or helpful
or needed

And I will let you both
figure that out too
just between
the two of you

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How was your weekend?
Oh, pretty good
didn’t do much
just hung about

cha cha chathe dance

How was your day?
Same ol’, same ol
pretty busy
lots of sitting

twist left, twirl right

What will you be doing tomorrow?
Did you have a good weekend?
What’s been happening?
What’s the weather going to be like?
What’s going on with
everyone else?

The dance continues

step together, step apart

superficial questions
artificial responses
avoiding the hulking elephant
planted firmly in this space

we know he’s there
we see him clearly
we step lively in circles
to keep clear of his path

leap, point, glide, arms extend

The dance continues

for if I mention the elephant
it might cause a ruckus
if I point and shout
it certainly would
create a scene

and that could make this
even more unbearable
than it currently is

or we just might get a chance
to guide him out of the room

But for now,
for today,
the dance continues

synchronized pirouettes
around the elephant

elephant

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I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings
I didn’t mean for you to take it that way
I didn’t mean to make you sad
I didn’t mean for you to react like that

My intent was not to hurtknowmyworth.com
My intent was not to bully
My intent was not to get my way
I don’t think it was…
because usually…

My intent was not about you at all.

But my impact?

I did hurt your feelings
I did make you sad
You did react
You did take it that way

And that’s what matters
My impact.
And that’s what I need to be aware of
My impact.
And that’s what I need to repair
My impact.

Because no matter my intent, my impact hurt you.
And I am very sorry.
And let’s talk.
so we can use words and language
to bring my impact
in line with my intention
and heal.

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