Posted in i AM complete, Poetry, Self worth, tagged expectations, i am complete, lies, love, Love Actually, perfect, poetry, pressure, relationships, romance, romantic comedies, self worth on February 17, 2012| 2 Comments »
Another romantic comedy
flits to my mind
the idea that someone would “See me as perfect”
creates fear of it’s own kind
It’s not endearing
to see a false version of me
It makes me feel pressure
and wonder who you want me to be
I am me
Perfection only in God’s eyes
let’s keep it real between us
no romanticized lies
Posted in Poetry, Praise, Self worth, tagged blessings, God, God's grace, God's love, gratitude, joy, poetry, praise, prayer, self worth, thankfulness on January 15, 2012| 2 Comments »
O God, praise your name!
I am blessed to know you
To be able to talk with you
To know you listen
to my words and cries
To know you care
about the simple things I ponder
You bring comfort to me
You lift me in times of sadness
You celebrate with me in times of joy
You know my weaknesses
and love me anyway
You see me
as perfect
as the robes of your Son
cover me
Your grace
coats my flesh
sealing my skin
in radiant light
I am covered by you
I am loved by you
I am blessed
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged apologizing, blame, fault, God, grace, guilt, mistakes, perfect, poetry, self worth on January 12, 2012| 1 Comment »
When I make a mistake
or even when someone else does
I suddenly take on these intense feelings
of responsibility
of shame
of fear
I am suddenly the guilty party
I assume all the blame
I shoulda done something differently
I shoulda said something else
I shoulda known better
I shoulda kept you from…
Oh, so sorry!
Sorry I said that mistakenly!
Sorry I did that accidentally!
Sorry that happened to you!
Sorry I didn’t step in and stop you!
Sorry I didn’t fix it before it was even broken!
Why do I think I have to be perfect?
It’s not my fault
It’s not your fault
In fact –
There doesn’t HAVE TO BE fault.
wow. Can I really believe that?
with God’s help
with God’s grace
Yes.
Mistakes aren’t the end of the world
Not when I make them
Not when you make them
They are just mistakes
We learn
and move on
No need to
feel stupid
rejected
or rejectable
No need to
assume any blame
beat myself down
for having not anticipated the situation
for not being perfect
It was just a mistake
And NO
it’s not all my fault.
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged anxiety, doubt, expectations, feelings, God, happiness, inner turmoil, letting go, lies, poetry, pressure, sabotage, self worth on January 8, 2012| Leave a Comment »
Sometimes
when things are going well
things are just so right
having fun
feeling good
happy
I can’t enjoy it.
I am waiting for the shoe to drop
the bad taste to arrive
the bricks to shatter
the fist to punch
the hateful comments
to ring in my ears
to squelch my happiness
Maybe the shoe
will even be
something I do
something I say
that messes things up
Not that bad
has to be coming
but I anticipate it will
and in doing
create an internal sabotage.
Anticipating the shoe
can be worse than the shoe itself.
But
I don’t have to live this way
I can delight in God
and know that He is there at all times
He delights in my delights
He is happy when I am happy
and He is there
when happiness is not.
He will hold me tightly
if a shoe, taste, brick, fist, or comment
comes into my life
whether I anticipate
its arrival
or not.
So
in the meantime, I need want to be happy.
Thank you, Lord, for happy.
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged behavior, comparison, doubt, expectations, feelings, God, God's love, lies, poetry, pressure, self worth, your opinion on January 4, 2012| 7 Comments »
You can’t make me
say any certain words
feel any certain feelings
think any certain thoughts
look any certain style
act any certain way
be any certain woman
You can
criticize
cajole
critique
advise
intimidate
mock
“help”
but still
You can’t
make me
anything.
I choose
my actions
reactions
I choose
to know
who I am
separate from
who you think
I am
instead
connected to
who God thinks
I am
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged 2012, goals, God, habits, improvement, inner turmoil, letting go, new year, poetry, pressure, resolutions, self worth on December 26, 2011| 1 Comment »
It’s the time of year
for me to IMPROVE
So what will it be
this year…
eat more veggies?
exercise more?
read the entire bible?
quit a bad habit?
volunteer?
organize all the closets?
remodel the kitchen?
go back to school?
start a new hobby?
clean that garage?
finish a 1/2-done craft project?
get out of debt?
do more of this?
do less of that?
Stop.
How about…
Be kind to myself.
Know that I am loved.
Sit in the arms of the Father.
And
maybe
finally
this year
I will
know my worth.
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged Christmas, expectations, gifts, God's grace, inner turmoil, issues, letting go, poetry, self worth, trust on December 22, 2011| Leave a Comment »
Please
don’t buy me anything
don’t get me a gift
so much turmoil surrounds it
it’s just not fun
Agonizing issues with gifts.
What if I don’t get you something?
What if mine’s not good enough?
What if I don’t really like it?
What if I disappoint you with my reaction?
what do you want in return?
only gratitude?
thing is,
I don’t really
believe that
I seem so ungrateful
Almost hateful
Undeserving
Unworthy
D I S T R U S T I N G.
I haven’t always been this way
I don’t have to be this way
I choose not to be this way
Can I let go of my issues with gifts?
Can I accept the greatest gift of all?
God’s grace
I am worthy.
I can trust.
And I thank you.
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged forgiveness, God's grace, God's love, love, perfect, poetry, self worth on December 17, 2011| 3 Comments »
Even though you didn’t…
Treat kindly
Encourage unabashedly
Think thoughtfully
Protect fiercely
Wait patiently
Speak sweetly
Touch gently
Listen compassionately
Give unselfishly
Trust completely
Love unconditionally
And I deserve it
all
God can do it
all
You’re not perfect
I’m not perfect
But with God’s love
and grace
I’m ok anyway
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged Christmas, God's gift, perfectionism, poetry, pressure, self worth, worry on December 13, 2011| 2 Comments »
It’s Christmastime!
Gotta find the perfect tree
Gotta put up the perfect lights
Gotta buy the perfect gifts
at the perfect sale prices
Gotta set up the perfect decorations
Gotta get the perfect outfits
Gotta bake the perfect cookies
Gotta cook the perfect meal
Gotta make the most perfect of all memories
Gotta pause.
Christ was the perfect gift, given to us by God,
so that we don’t have to be perfect.
We are free
We don’t need to do anything
We are valuable, loved, cherished, and complete
not by what we find, get, set, make
but just in who we are
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged expectations, God's love, letting go, lies, poetry, self worth, value on December 8, 2011| 2 Comments »
Sometimes
when things don’t go exactly as I thought they would go
for whatever reason
I attack myself.
I beat myself up.
I wonder why it happened
the way that it did,
and in the pit of myself,
believe that it’s my fault.
Expectations. Evil Expectations.
When they are not met,
by others
or myself
Somehow, that instantly reflects on my worth.
The self condemnation starts
It must be that I’m not good enough,
It must be that I did something wrong.
But that’s a lie.
I know the truth.
I know that no matter what I do,
No matter how I imagine things
No matter how things happen
I am loved.
I am valued.
I am precious.
And I don’t have to meet my own expectations,
or yours,
to be that way.
Know My Worth 