Posts Tagged ‘apologizing’

In the classic movie – Love Story
one of the worst lines ever uttered
and proclaimed to be romantic:

~ Love means never having to say you’re sorry ~

excuse me, huh?
in what world
is that ok?

If you love me
and you hurt me
You need to be sorry
You need to mean it

That’s what love is
Care for me
Respect me
and my feelings
Think before you

And definitely,
most assuredly, most respectfully, most humbly, most lovingly
say when you are sorry.


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When I make a mistake
or even when someone else does
I suddenly take on these intense feelings
of responsibility
of shame
of fear

I am suddenly the guilty party
I assume all the blame
I shoulda done something differently
I shoulda said something else
I shoulda known better
I shoulda kept you from…

Oh, so sorry!
Sorry I said that mistakenly!
Sorry I did that accidentally!
Sorry that happened to you!
Sorry I didn’t step in and stop you!
Sorry I didn’t fix it before it was even broken!

Why do I think I have to be perfect?

It’s not my fault
It’s not your fault

In fact –
There doesn’t HAVE TO BE fault.

wow. Can I really believe that?
with God’s help
with God’s grace

Mistakes aren’t the end of the world
Not when I make them
Not when you make them

They are just mistakes
We learn
and move on

No need to
feel stupid
or rejectable

No need to
assume any blame
beat myself down
for having not anticipated the situation
for not being perfect

It was just a mistake
And NO
it’s not all my fault.

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Why am I “Sorry?”

Why do I say “I’m sorry” when I have done nothing wrong?

It’s especially rotten when I say it
after you have hurt me
When you should be apologizing.

Do I feel guilt?
Do I feel shame?
Do I feel pity?

Something in me wants to make you feel better.
But what about how I feel?

I don’t have to be sorry when I have done nothing wrong.
I don’t have to be sorry when you hurt me.
I don’t have to accept the feelings of guilt, the feelings of shame, the feelings of pity.
Those feelings are toxic.

I will not allow you to try to make me to feel sorry when I have done nothing wrong.
I have value.

I’m not sorry
and that’s ok.

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