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I have a fear
of not being heard
of not being understoodThinking

of not being known.

Sometimes
I think this leads me to say
most every little thing
I am feeling or thinking.

But I am learning
I don’t have to
say it all.

Not everyone needs to hear me.
Not everyone needs to understand me.

And most people aren’t going to understand me anyway.
And that’s OK.

I think
what it comes down to
is that to be heard
I actually don’t need to be listened to
by anyone
but me.

Sometimes
I have to say no.

It’s important for me to do so
and it’s being true
to what I am really feeling

So I say no
not today
not now
I’m sorry, I can’t

But then the guilt.

It washes over me
floods my thoughts
churns in my belly

How can I say no?
They need me
need my help
need my service
and maybe need God through me

so the thoughts keep spinninglose me
that I’m just being selfish
and would it have really hurt me
to drop what I’m doing
to add more to my plate
and would it have really hurt me
to give one more afternoon

because people give to me
and so shouldn’t I give back
all that I have?
all that I am?

but then I remember
what I can be like
when I don’t take care of myself
the tailspin I can create
the emotional states
the physical decline

and then I remember
that when people give to me
give in healthy ways
it doesn’t require
of loss of myself
to them
it is a gift

and then I remember
that setting boundaries
establishing limits
makes me MORE able to help
more able to be present
more able to be me
in those times that
are appropriate

and that’s woman –
that’s who
they were asking for
in the first place

Originally published 11.23.2012

If you can use a little help saying NO without feeling guilt,
you may like to join my FREE online class, this Wednesday.
(recording will be available)
Click here for info and registration.say no

Full of air
but not of helium

filled withballoon
your own breath
your own hopes
your own dreams

it floats just above the ground
threatening to land on
sharp grass
jagged fence posts
my fork

And now it seems

It’s my job to keep it afloat
It’s my job to protect it from hot lava
It’s my job to bounce it higher
It’s my job to guard it safely

It certainly seems my job
not to be the one 
to pop it

And so I reach out to lift up
up up up
into the light

words of praise

And so I reach out to protect
tap tap tap
away from harm

words of encouragement

But as I reach out,
I may say the wrong words
I may do the wrong actions

Because it’s not my balloon.

And as I reach out,
I may miss
and that balloon
it may pop

So I can’t be the one
who holds your balloon

So I can’t be the one
to sustain it in air

So I can’t be the one
to guard you from disappointment

And I can’t be responsible
for your balloon.

I don’t think I’ve ever really introduced myself…
and after about 3 and a half years, it’s probably time. ;)

So here’s a video welcome from me to the KMW blog.

<3 Thank you for joining me on this journey <3

When fear rises
with its hateful sword

Evil glint in the eyes
charging straight toward

Angels form a wall
of light and love

Radiating grace
truth from above

Swords clash
I am protected.

Fear Has No Power Here

I refuse to fear

Well, lovelies,
I have to tell you
I’ve been having so much fun
in the Know My Worth Workshop
this month, that I’m doing a new one for May!

Let me tell you a little about it… (video)

So, are you tired of always trying to have it all together?
Being micro-managed by unrealistic expectations?

We fool ourselves into thinking perfectionism is one of those “weaknesses” we love to have. That we are just striving for excellence and being our best.

But actually, perfectionism causes
anxiety, depression, irritability and isolation.

I am tired of going it alone, being strong, having it “all together”
when inside I’m often falling apart.

I hope you will stand with me, and practice a little Un-Perfectionism!

We start Friday!
click here or on the image for more details.

PUP workshop

Blessings!

PS – I want it to be a small group, creating the safety of getting to know each other and personalized support, so “seats” are limited to 21 women.  And it’s only $99 for the entire 21 days – that’s the cost of a single coaching session.

PPS – the first 10 registrants also get a special bonus gift!  Check it out :)

Oh Creator,
Give me the desire and the ability

to forgive myself

for times of being unaware
and not seeing things as clearly as I do now

for times of seeing acceptance
in people instead of you

for times of being naive
getting caught in someone’s snares

for times my words or actions
didn’t match who I want myself to be

for times of being human
needing space to learn and heal

for times of needing help
letting go of past hurts and old patterns

Give me the ability, desire, and the courage
to be compassionate with myself
to take steps forward
to believe I am worthy
just as I am.

04.23b self forgiveness prayer

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