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Love.

Abstract yet concrete.real love
Emotion yet thought.
Noun yet verb.

The more we give,
the more we get…
right?

Well, no.
It doesn’t always work that way.

Sometimes we give and give and give
and we feel an empty space
in return

But is that real love?

Because sometimes
the love we are giving
isn’t exactly the
pure and selfless love
we believe it to be

When we give love
with expectations of reciprocity

When we give love
with a need for fulfillment
from others

We aren’t giving pure, true love.

Pure true love
comes from our Creator.

Pure true love
has an endless supply.

Pure true love
fills us up as we give it away

And pure true love
doesn’t need for us to do anything at all.

Just to be.
Just to give.
Through me – not because of me – not for me.

And I want to live
in that kind of love
each and every day.

<3

205766_431466773588347_766618948_n

I’m excited to share that I’m going to be learning more about this kind of love as I leave for Ethiopia this week to work with an organization called Bring Love In.  They bring widows and orphans together to create “forever families” as well as help keep other families intact.

I’m going as a Coach, but I’m mostly ready to spend my time listening, learning and loving. Thank you for sending your prayers and good thoughts with me, as I know they will be absorbed by me, and in turn felt by all I meet.

<3

What does it mean
to live in grace?

Does it mean…

that I no longer do anything wrongLiving in grace
or anything hurtful

that I sit in complete peace
never angry or hurt

that I am always kind
to myself and others

that I am free from feelings of
competition
overwhelm
unworthiness
anger
frustration
ingratitude

pain?

Well, no.

But it does mean

that my chains
to those feelings
can be broken

with a choice.

I can choose
to forgive
to be kind
to be peaceful
to be loving
to be joyful
to be patient
to be grateful

with others
AND MYSELF

because once we accept grace
for ourselves
we have an unlimited
amount to give
to others

And we will find ourselves
more often kind
more often peaceful
more often free

We just start by
choosing it.

choice for grace

Some days just don’t go rightSitting

My ideas don’t work out
Plans crumble
I don’t feel brave

Some days just don’t feel right

My body doesn’t behave
Moods spiral
I don’t feel healthy

Some days just don’t sit right

My thoughts don’t make sense
Fears spin
I don’t feel stable

And then I remember
there is no one right answer
there is no one right plan

And then I remember
my plans aren’t always the finest
my body tells me I need to rest
my thoughts
are only thoughts

And that even when life doesn’t go
according to my plans
I’m still learning
I’m still loving
I’m still loved

All of my days are known
by my omnipotent Creator
who sits with me
right with me
as I crumble, spiral and spin

who tells me it’s OK
to let go
of the worry and control

And I can feel brave
And I can feel healthy
And I can feel stable
just by sitting still
some days.

sit still

setting boundaries

 

Setting boundaries –
What does it even mean?

Is it saying no? Is it saying stop? Is it saying
I don’t like that? I won’t do that?

Is it as simple as
sticking up for me?

Maybe I need skills
Maybe I need practice
Maybe I just need
to do it.

Setting limits can be awkward
The consequences unknown
The possibilities for
rejection
loom

But it’s worth it.

It’s worth it to be heard
able to voice how I feel
even to myself

It’s worth it to know
where I begin
and another person ends

It’s worth it to allow
each of us to fully experience
our own lives as they unfold

It’s worth it to feel
the freedom
of being myself

letting go of the need for approval
letting go of the need for perfection
letting go of the need to fix things

And being willing to
just be me.

<3

If you can use some guidance and practice setting boundaries while still being nice, my newest small-group online workshop begins tomorrow! Click for details.

still being nice

I have a fear
of not being heard
of not being understoodThinking

of not being known.

Sometimes
I think this leads me to say
most every little thing
I am feeling or thinking.

But I am learning
I don’t have to
say it all.

Not everyone needs to hear me.
Not everyone needs to understand me.

And most people aren’t going to understand me anyway.
And that’s OK.

I think
what it comes down to
is that to be heard
I actually don’t need to be listened to
by anyone
but me.

Sometimes
I have to say no.

It’s important for me to do so
and it’s being true
to what I am really feeling

So I say no
not today
not now
I’m sorry, I can’t

But then the guilt.

It washes over me
floods my thoughts
churns in my belly

How can I say no?
They need me
need my help
need my service
and maybe need God through me

so the thoughts keep spinninglose me
that I’m just being selfish
and would it have really hurt me
to drop what I’m doing
to add more to my plate
and would it have really hurt me
to give one more afternoon

because people give to me
and so shouldn’t I give back
all that I have?
all that I am?

but then I remember
what I can be like
when I don’t take care of myself
the tailspin I can create
the emotional states
the physical decline

and then I remember
that when people give to me
give in healthy ways
it doesn’t require
of loss of myself
to them
it is a gift

and then I remember
that setting boundaries
establishing limits
makes me MORE able to help
more able to be present
more able to be me
in those times that
are appropriate

and that’s woman –
that’s who
they were asking for
in the first place

Originally published 11.23.2012

If you can use a little help saying NO without feeling guilt,
you may like to join my FREE online class, this Wednesday.
(recording will be available)
Click here for info and registration.say no

Full of air
but not of helium

filled withballoon
your own breath
your own hopes
your own dreams

it floats just above the ground
threatening to land on
sharp grass
jagged fence posts
my fork

And now it seems

It’s my job to keep it afloat
It’s my job to protect it from hot lava
It’s my job to bounce it higher
It’s my job to guard it safely

It certainly seems my job
not to be the one 
to pop it

And so I reach out to lift up
up up up
into the light

words of praise

And so I reach out to protect
tap tap tap
away from harm

words of encouragement

But as I reach out,
I may say the wrong words
I may do the wrong actions

Because it’s not my balloon.

And as I reach out,
I may miss
and that balloon
it may pop

So I can’t be the one
who holds your balloon

So I can’t be the one
to sustain it in air

So I can’t be the one
to guard you from disappointment

And I can’t be responsible
for your balloon.

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