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ee cummings

e.e. cummings

I sit waiting

cringing on the inside
knowing what’s coming
harsh “helpful” words
in the name of feedback

I sit waiting

determined to remember
this says more about her
than it does about me

determined to remember
this is one person’s opinion
and doesn’t define me

determined to remember
that I’m covered by grace
and don’t have to be perfect

I radiate light

Visualizing that light
swells me with strength

I sit a bit straighter
I lean forward and smile

For I am not defined
by this conversation
and I will not cower
anticipating criticism

someone's opinion

Nothing I Do

Nothing I say today
will be especially wise

Nothing I feel today
will be unique to me

Nothing I cook today
will amaze any tastebuds

DSC04848a

Nothing I write today
will be new words

And yet

Nothing I hear today
can make me feel badly

Nothing I start
Nothing I finish

Nothing I think on
Nothing I forget

Nothing today
Not one single thing
will impact my worth

No matter my feelings, my words, my skills
No matter my hurts, my worries, my fears

I shine filled with grace
with love and hope

For God’s love is pure
and grace so freely given
that nothing I do
nothing that’s done
will add or diminish
will polish or dirty
God’s treasured creation
that is me

Rescue

When someone I love
is in pain or fear
unsure of what to do
crying or angry

I find myself
instantly geared
for superhero mode

awesome photo by Laura Glover

ready to swoop in
red cape sailing
shiny boots glinting
fists on hips

I’m ready to rescue
lift you out of the dark
erase your fear
remove your pain

But that’s not my job

And when I do
try to swoop in
with a fancy cape
and all the answers

I deny God
the opportunity to speak
the opportunity to heal
the opportunity to grow closer
to a beloved child

But
I find myself thinking
God can’t want this for you!
God must have put in my heart
to jump in
to share wisdom
to lift you

up up and away

But who am I to know
what God wants for you?
what God will use
in your life
to bring you closer to Him?

For I myself
have had hurts
traumatic pain
unhappy experiences

And God has used each one
to make me who I am

And so I must
fold up my cape
store away the boots

And let God
be the superhero
you need

Out of My Control

I need to let go
of the need
for control

When I think I have everything handled
When I think I’ve got it all figured out
When I think I know the answers

I don’t.

I need to let go
of the need
for certainty

When I think I found the right path
When I think I am ready to charge ahead
When I think I see a perfect vision and purpose

I don’t.

Because certainty is an illusion
And looking for it
leads me into
hesitation
fear
paralysis

Yet if I let God
do Her thing

If I let go of the need
for control
for certainty

Then all that I need

the desire
the power
the energy
the faith

All will be given to me
Just when I need it
Just how I need it
completely and beautifully
out of my control


philippians 2.13

When

When I feel alone
in a room crowded with people

When I feel panic
swelling in my gut

When I feel worry
creeping into my brain

When I feel uneasy in any way
I know the darkness of fear
is trying to get in

I know the dark one
is trying to break me down

But I am a child of light
I am loved
I am never alone
My life mapped
My purpose designed

And like a child
into a swimming pool
I must jump
with all my being
with childlike trust
and splash and play
in waters of uncertainty
without the flotation devices
of knowledge and control
yet faith and hope
keep me afloat

So when I feel fear, panic or worry
When I feel uncertain or out of control
It’s time to let go
to live in faith
to jump in the pool
to float in trust
surrounded by love

swimming pool

You are Brave

brave

I was given this message today
in more ways than one

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