click
click
click
click
ker-chunk
silence
then
screams
terror
delight
wind
whips
through my soul
twist
turn
dip
jump
upside down
inside out
laughter
joy
tears
sorrow
God is my safety harness
Archive for the ‘Poetry’ Category
Emotional Roller Coaster
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged expectations, feelings, God, poetry, self worth on May 29, 2012| 1 Comment »
What Could Have Been
Posted in Healing, Poetry, tagged expectations, feelings, God, grief, letting go, loss, love, poetry, relationships, sadness on May 25, 2012| 2 Comments »
Sadness.
I’m sad.
Right?
I know I should be sad
And in many ways I am
But not in the ways –
Not for the things –
I am supposed to be.
I am sad for what wasn’t
not for the loss of what was
I am sad for the lost opportunities
I am sad for the relationship
that never really was
I am sad that my expectations
of what we could have been
were never realized.
Yes, I am sad.
And how my sadness manifests…
Well, there is no right way
There is no wrong way.
People grieve in different ways
People grieve for different things
Whose to say we aren’t all grieving
for what could have been?
I do know
that God sits right next to us
when we are sad.
No matter the reason, He sits.
He loves.
He hugs.
And it’s ok to be sad
for what could have been.
Stuff
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged better, clothing, designer, God, God's love, keeping up with the Joneses, newer, possessions, self esteem, self worth, style on May 20, 2012| 3 Comments »
My value is not determined by:
the money I make,
the size of my paycheck
or even if i get one
the clothes I have,
where I got them
or the labels inside them
the house I live in,
if I own or rent
or the neighborhood it’s in
the car I drive,
practical and old
or fancy and new
the diplomas I have,
where they are from
or where they “should” be from
It’s all just stuff.
God doesn’t care
what clothes I wear
what car I drive
He loves me in spite of my stuff.
When I get caught up in needing more, needing new
He still loves me
He waits right by me
saying
“Ok, kiddo – if you think so…
but I don’t care about your stuff –
having that is not going to make you feel whole
or make you feel better.
But I will let you figure it out,
and I will just love you.”
My worth, my value, is not determined by what I own.
I refuse to feel less than
someone with more
because
I am more
than my stuff
His Perfect Love
Posted in Poetry, Praise, Self worth, tagged control, fear, God, love, perfect, self worth, trust on May 16, 2012| Leave a Comment »
God’s perfect love replaces all fear
Because He loves us
so truly
so deeply
so perfectly
Those times I glimpse
that perfect love
a wash of warm light
fills my soul
Some days I am grasping
struggling to reach out
to remember to trust Him
to let go of my own expectations
But when I do –
when I sit in His perfect love
I know why we are here
and I just want to know Him
Help me, Lord
to sit with you
today
Perfect Moms
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged expectations, love, mom, mother, perfect, poetry, self worth, thankfulness on May 13, 2012| 3 Comments »
Sometimes Moms
forget all the things they do
forget all the things they have done
Sometimes Moms
focus on things they think they should have done
focus on things still yet to do
focus on things they could have done differently
Wait, Moms – 
that misses the point
that cancels the good
that silences the truth
Moms
do all that they can
with all that they have
for everyone they love
in any given minute
Moms are heroes
especially because
they are not perfect.
The only one who expects
a perfect mom
is Mom.
♥ Happy Mother’s Day ♥
to the beautiful, worthy,
beloved just as you are
♥ Moms of the world ♥
Fear of disappointment
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged afraid, control, expectations, not perfect, poetry, pressure, relationships, self worth on May 8, 2012| 4 Comments »
Disappointment
A golden lion
lounges in the grass
appears as an innocent
and playful cat
Yet in only a moment
will jump
rip out my heart
tear me in two
If I startle the cat
If I anger the cat
it may lift its mane
shake its head
show its teeth
roar
and I am afraid.
I don’t want you to let me down
I don’t want to let you down
So I don’t let you in
I don’t let you get close
I don’t let you near
I don’t expect anything from you
Keep the lion deep in slumber
O, who am I kidding?
I have expectations
I continue to have hopes
I continue to wish for things to be how I imagine them to be
The beast stirs and squints an eye
I try to resist
I pretend I can keep you out
I shield myself from you
I hide from disappointment
But expectations
wake the cat
I am exposed
and I am afraid.
All things
Posted in Poetry, Praise, Self worth, tagged control, expectations, God, letting go, love, perfect, prayer, self worth on May 4, 2012| Leave a Comment »
I can do all things through Christ
who strengthens me.
But do I allow it?
Do I let go enough
of my own need to control
to allow God’s miracles to happen?
Lord,
Help me to let go
Help me to give it all to you
It is through your power alone
that my life will be filled
Nothing I do
Nothing I plan
Nothing I say
directs my path as clearly
As when I am still
and listen to your voice
I don’t have to figure it all out
I don’t have to have it all planned
I just need to trust you, God
I choose
to trust you
Silence
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged desires, doubt, expectations, lies, life, poetry, power, self worth, silence, waiting on April 28, 2012| 2 Comments »
I am silent.
again.
Why don’t I speak?
Why don’t I share?
Why don’t I express my needs?
A little voice inside
tells me
my needs don’t matter
my cares aren’t valid
my desires are selfish
I should just keep them to myself.
But that’s a lie.
Then
another voice creeps in
This one tells me
others should ask me
about my needs
about my cares
If I am valuable,
they should want to ask
But that is also a lie.
My needs are valid
My cares are important
My opinions do matter
And
when I don’t share
my thoughts and feelings
when I expect others
to just know my desires
to know I am waiting to be asked
While I wait
I give away the power over my life.
And as I wait
for someone else
to determine my path
The lies get louder
The hurt seeps in
Self-doubt
plagues
All because of MY silence.
And I can fix it.
No Waiting
Posted in Poetry, Self worth, tagged expectations, perfect, poetry, pressure, self worth, waiting on April 11, 2012| Leave a Comment »
I’m not going to wait
for everything to be perfect
I’m not going to wait
for me to be perfect
to look a certain way
to have a certain education
to own a certain item
to be a certain age, weight, status…
Now.
Now is the time
the time to live
the time to be
the time to experience
all that God has planned
all that life has to offer
all that I am meant to be
Blessed at Easter
Posted in Poetry, Praise, tagged blessings, Easter, faith, God, God's grace, God's love, love, poetry, prayer, thankfulness on April 8, 2012| 2 Comments »
Thank you God
for loving me
for giving your son
so that I may live
Thank you God
for renewing me
for wiping away the past
for cleaning my heart
Thank you God
for accepting me
with all my flaws
just as I am
Thank you God
for providing for me
food and shelter
and people who love
Thank you God
for listening to me
always by my side
I’m always in your arms
Thank you God
for being so amazing
Know My Worth 