Know My Worth

Disappointment
A golden lion
lounges in the grass
appears as an innocent
and playful cat
Yet in only a moment
will jump
rip out my heart
tear me in two

If I startle the cat
If I anger the cat
it may lift its mane
shake its head
show its teeth
roar

and I am afraid.

I don’t want you to let me down
I don’t want to let you down
So I don’t let you in

I don’t let you get close
I don’t let you near
I don’t expect anything from you
Keep the lion deep in slumber

O, who am I kidding?

I have expectations
I continue to have hopes
I continue to wish for things to be how I imagine them to be
The beast stirs and squints an eye

I try to resist
I pretend I can keep you out
I shield myself from you
I hide from disappointment

But expectations
wake the cat
I am exposed
and I am afraid.

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