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Posts Tagged ‘fear’

56 drafts
humming in the queue

brimming with potential56 drafts
wisdom
heartache
praise
angst

eager to be deemed worthy
of the Publish button

anticipating the day
the writer becomes bold

courage creating freedom

Yet instead
here she creates
yet another draft
discussing the drafts

Revealing only
the desire to reveal
but not the bravery
to actually do it

today.

 

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I need to let go
of the need
for control

When I think I have everything handled
When I think I’ve got it all figured out
When I think I know the answers

I don’t.

I need to let go
of the need
for certainty

When I think I found the right path
When I think I am ready to charge ahead
When I think I see a perfect vision and purpose

I don’t.

Because certainty is an illusion
And looking for it
leads me into
hesitation
fear
paralysis

Yet if I let God
do Her thing

If I let go of the need
for control
for certainty

Then all that I need

the desire
the power
the energy
the faith

All will be given to me
Just when I need it
Just how I need it
completely and beautifully
out of my control


philippians 2.13

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When I feel alone
in a room crowded with people

When I feel panic
swelling in my gut

When I feel worry
creeping into my brain

When I feel uneasy in any way
I know the darkness of fear
is trying to get in

I know the dark one
is trying to break me down

But I am a child of light
I am loved
I am never alone
My life mapped
My purpose designed

And like a child
into a swimming pool
I must jump
with all my being
with childlike trust
and splash and play
in waters of uncertainty
without the flotation devices
of knowledge and control
yet faith and hope
keep me afloat

So when I feel fear, panic or worry
When I feel uncertain or out of control
It’s time to let go
to live in faith
to jump in the pool
to float in trust
surrounded by love

swimming pool

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Sometimes I feel
like I can’t figure out a thing
I don’t know where I’m going
or even who I am

I stand at an open gate
and wonder which direction to take
wonder where each path may lead
and what adventures await

Excitement and bravery
get shoved to the back of my mind
roughed up, knocked down
by negative thought bullies

I feel panic start to rise
thoughts of doubt and fear
Insecurity quickly
steals my joy

Can I trust myself?
Can I figure it out?

And then I remember

I don’t have to do this alone

I have the Holy Spirit
within me
I have a guide and a compass
right in my heart

Waiting to whisper
what step to take
who to watch out for
where to go

If I can just be still
and listen
and let the Spirit lead me

spirit lead me

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I’ve been doing this little series of love notes from God
on the Facebook page lately.

What little notes does God whisper to your heart?

03.10 Slide1

03.14 Slide2

notes from God6

notes from God

notes from God5

notes from God4

03.27 Slide3

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You are angry with me
and my reaction
is fear
bewildered
loss

I don’t know what to do
I don’t know how to act
I don’t know how to be
and I feel
that it’s my fault
that it’s now my role
to soothe your anger
to fix the situation
to change myself
to hide in shame

I didn’t meet your expectations
I didn’t do things as you would have done
I didn’t know the right way to answer
I didn’t prevent this very moment

But then I remember
I am a grown woman
who has thoughts
and feelings
that are just as valid
as anyone else

And I remember
it’s not actually
my job
to fix your anger

your anger
is your feeling
and just because
you have a feeling
I am not required
to do anything

Trying to force me
to change – to do or be
what you want me to do or be
is bullying

Your anger belongs to you
and you have every right to feel it
You can believe it’s righteous
You can believe it’s justified
You can believe it requires action

And I can disagree.

If I change
I will change for me
If you change
You will change for you

and if we continue to disagree
and you continue to be angry with me
then our paths will change

Because I will no longer be
afraid of anger

afraid of anger

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God’s perfect love replaces all fear

Because He loves us
so truly
so deeply
so perfectly

Those times I glimpse
that perfect love
a wash of warm light
fills my soul

Some days I am grasping
struggling to reach out
to remember to trust Him
to let go of my own expectations

But when I do –
when I sit in His perfect love
I know why we are here
and I just want to know Him

Help me, Lord
to sit with you
today

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