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Posts Tagged ‘perfect’

Do thisphoto by Maria Herrera
Do that

Say this
Say that

Think this
Think that

Buy this
Buy that

It’s gotta be done
It’s gotta be perfect
It’s gotta be just right
It’s gotta be now
for you to love me

BUT
that’s not the truth
AND
I take a deep breath
SO
I can slow my pace
I can stop the spin
I can be myself
I can sit still
and breathe

FOR
no matter what I
do
say
think
buy

I have worth
I am loved
and
I can rest

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Delight yourself in the Lord
and He will give you the desires of your heart

Oh, how often
do we read
this promise
dreaming of
diamonds
and Playstations
and new jobs
or perfect spouses

dreaming
shiny new toys
are on their way
for good girls and boys

But
I don’t think it means
anything such as that

For when we truly delight
in God
when we truly focus
on Him
and all that He is,
everything else
melts away

We stop caring about
new toys
new jobs
new talents
new things

And He becomes
the only desire
the only delight
and all that we need
in this world

Psalm 37

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Why am I always
so focused on me?

focused on how I feel
or how you don’t
notice

When was the last time
I asked about you?

Why am I sitting
in a deep hole
a pit
of myself

It’s dark in here
I am alone
focused on myself
on me me me

It’s time to bring in some light
and all I need to do
is ask about you

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Sometimes
I have to say no.

It’s important for me to do so
and it’s being true
to what I am really feeling

So I say no
not today
not now
I’m sorry, I can’t

But then the guilt.

It washes over me
floods my thoughts
churns in my belly

How can I say no?
They need me
need my help
need my service
and maybe need God through me

so the thoughts keep spinning
that I’m just being selfish
and would it have really hurt me
to drop what I’m doing
to add more to my plate
and would it have really hurt me
to give one more afternoon

because people give to me
and so shouldn’t I give back
all that I have?
all that I am?

but then I remember
what I can be like
when I don’t take care of myself
the tailspin I can create
the emotional states
the physical decline

and then I remember
that when people give to me
give in healthy ways
it doesn’t require
of loss of myself
to them
it is a gift

and then I remember
that setting boundaries
establishing limits
makes me MORE able to help
more able to be present
more able to be me
in those times that
are appropriate

and that’s woman –
that’s who
they were asking for
in the first place

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Every day is something new
concepts to learn
circumstances for growth

Striving
Reaching
Practicing
Pretending to be
perfecting

But
perfect is not attainable
And
perfect is not necessary
Because
perfection paralyzes

I am unfinished
I always will be unfinished
and that is ok

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I am worthy.

Just as I am.

I don’t have to

do anything
spectacular

be anything
fabulous

say anything
profound

or fix
anything

to have worth.

Parts of my life are not perfect
I have made mistakes
and done things “wrong”

But I will not let imperfections
or the lies
from that useless emotion
of shame

keep me from knowing I have value
just as I am
today

no changes needed
no bad feelings warranted

I am human
I am worthy
I am loveable
I am fully me

and
I will need to accept me
if I want anyone
and everyone
to do the same

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I got it wrong
and yet,
it is going to be ok

The world won’t stop spinning
Volcanoes won’t erupt
Storms won’t bring floods
The people who love me
will still love me

I expect
and need
to have all the answers
I expect
and need
to always be right

And when I’m not
when my info is wrong
when I make a mistake
when I do the wrong thing
I fall apart inside.
I don’t want to be rejected.

But here’s the truth: I don’t have to be right to have value.

My value isn’t based on
what I know
what I do
how smart I am
how often I am right
or wrong

I just have to be
just be me

to have value and worth
and yes,
the world will stay in orbit

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