Sometimes
I have to say no.
It’s important for me to do so
and it’s being true
to what I am really feeling
So I say no
not today
not now
I’m sorry, I can’t
But then the guilt.
It washes over me
floods my thoughts
churns in my belly
How can I say no?
They need me
need my help
need my service
and maybe need God through me
so the thoughts keep spinning
that I’m just being selfish
and would it have really hurt me
to drop what I’m doing
to add more to my plate
and would it have really hurt me
to give one more afternoon
because people give to me
and so shouldn’t I give back
all that I have?
all that I am?
but then I remember
what I can be like
when I don’t take care of myself
the tailspin I can create
the emotional states
the physical decline
and then I remember
that when people give to me
give in healthy ways
it doesn’t require
of loss of myself
to them
it is a gift
and then I remember
that setting boundaries
establishing limits
makes me MORE able to help
more able to be present
more able to be me
in those times that
are appropriate
and that’s woman –
that’s who
they were asking for
in the first place
Dear God,
Know My Worth 