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Archive for April, 2012

I am silent.
again.

Why don’t I speak?
Why don’t I share?
Why don’t I express my needs?

A little voice inside
tells me
my needs don’t matter
my cares aren’t valid
my desires are selfish

I should just keep them to myself.

But that’s a lie.

Then
another voice creeps in
This one tells me
others should ask me
about my needs
about my cares
If I am valuable,
they should want to ask

But that is also a lie.

My needs are valid
My cares are important
My opinions do matter

And
when I don’t share
my thoughts and feelings

when I expect others
to just know my desires
to know I am waiting to be asked

While I wait
I give away the power over my life.

And as I wait
for someone else
to determine my path

The lies get louder
The hurt seeps in
Self-doubt
plagues

All because of MY silence.
And I can fix it.

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I’m not going to wait
for everything to be perfect

I’m not going to wait
for me to be perfect

to look a certain way
to have a certain education
to own a certain item
to be a certain age, weight, status…

Now.

Now is the time
the time to live
the time to be
the time to experience

all that God has planned
all that life has to offer
all that I am meant to be

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Thank you God
for loving me
for giving your son
so that I may live

Thank you God
for renewing me
for wiping away the past
for cleaning my heart

Thank you God
for accepting me
with all my flaws
just as I am

Thank you God
for providing for me
food and shelter
and people who love

Thank you God
for listening to me
always by my side
I’m always in your arms

Thank you God
for being so amazing

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May the Lord bless and keep you
May His face shine upon you
May you experience His peace
May you feel His strength
May you hear His soothing voice
May you know His unconditional love

His love
is always there
We just have to reach out for it
Be open to it
Stop trying to control it
Stop pretending we can define it

God’s love is unconditional
no parameters
nothing you do to earn it
nothing you do can destroy it

Be who you are
just who you are
with no condemnation
for things you wish you could change

God doesn’t expect you to be perfect
(whatever that really is anyway)
He loves you
exactly as you are
today

He WILL bless and keep you
He WILL shine upon you
just let him

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Is it time?

Am I ready for transformation?
To come out of a cocoon,
To burst forth into the light?

Sometimes the thought scares me
I want to just stay hidden
Sheltered within the wrapping I have created

But God has other plans

He wants to
Shine His light
through His children
Show His glory
with magnificently colored wings

Am I ready to see myself
how God sees me?
Am I ready to transform?

Is it time?

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